I was sexually assaulted in late July of 2016. At the time, I was in a serious relationship and had just lost my virginity maybe a week before (I was 16). I had a rape kit done and all that and the preg test came back negative. 

After a while I noticed I missed my period. I figured it was just the stress of everything messing it up. Then I got the morning sickness, so I took a stick test. It came back positive. My boyfriend agreed to take care of me and the baby. I didnt want to tell any of my family so my therapist arranged doctor's appointments and everything for me. 

I had finally accepted the fact I was pregnant, and was actually looking forward to having the baby. My closest friends were very supportive. At almost 3 months pregnant, I lost the baby. I was just starting to show. It absolutely broke me. My boyfriend didn't care at all, and a week later cheated on me with his ex, who has a baby. It made me feel like that was all he really wanted from me, and I wasnt enough because I didnt have the baby. My friends, being 16, didn't know how to help me. I never told anyone in my family what happened.

I got a kitten shortly after, a little black and white tuxedo cat. It almost feels like the spirit/soul of the baby was put into him. He's helped me grieve and deal with so much.

I still had a moment in May, the month they would've been born, to think about them and let myself cry and deal with emotions I had been suppressing. I want to get a tattoo in the future and explain to my siblings what happened, I'm still not ready for that yet.