As the advertisements for Viagra, Cialys and other medications for Erectile Dysfunction flooded television and magazines, it occurred to me that e.d. is one topic about which I rarely seem to hear women speak! On the rare occasions that e.d. is discussed, its as the punchline to a bawdy joke or is a phrase said in a whisper and barely audible. Certainly, it is a topic that is never discussed on a personal level and if the subject is mentioned at all, its preceded by the phrase, "not that it happens to MY husband/boyfriend/lover".
As they were growing up, my husband and I raised our four sons to discuss sexuality openly and respectfully in our home. No topic has ever been out-of-bounds and I've been proud of our ability as a family to deal with sexuality in a comfortable and sincere way. When I was looking at the various groups available on DailyStrength, the ED support caught my attention. When I saw that the members were all men, I thought it would be a good idea to break the gender glass ceiling and seek "membership", if only to make the point that ED impacts women in equal measure to its impact on men! So... here I am, ready and willing to listen, to learn, and even (oh my goodness!) to share!! Thank you, gentlemen, for your candor and welcome!
As they were growing up, my husband and I raised our four sons to discuss sexuality openly and respectfully in our home. No topic has ever been out-of-bounds and I've been proud of our ability as a family to deal with sexuality in a comfortable and sincere way. When I was looking at the various groups available on DailyStrength, the ED support caught my attention. When I saw that the members were all men, I thought it would be a good idea to break the gender glass ceiling and seek "membership", if only to make the point that ED impacts women in equal measure to its impact on men! So... here I am, ready and willing to listen, to learn, and even (oh my goodness!) to share!! Thank you, gentlemen, for your candor and welcome!
This is how my partner has learned to respond over the years. It may be confusing for women to understand that men without erections can still wish to be intimate. They just don't exhibit the familiar recognizable "symptoms".
Although I can satisfy my partner other ways, we both long for real sex. I don't get any pressure to "get better quicker". With time and rehab that may happen.
For some women no sex may NOT be a real deal breaker. For some, other methods may be just fine. And yet for others, it's enough to send them out of a relationship. Truth and communication are of ultimate importance.
I wouldn't even know how to broach the subject while dating or at the moment when sex if eminent.
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