It was never perfect. But I knew he loved me . Like no one else in my life has ever loved me. Unconditional. Loyal.we were mutaully attracted to each other. He was a sex addict I wAs a victim of rapewith baggage. He had an uncontrollable temper reacts quickly instantly and excessively. We went to counciling anger management . We broke up twicewe had three baby's all girls I was done. We decided to wrk things out and make up baby boy came to anserw all his desires. I kept my weight under125 so four kids , he's been through addictions we worked them out money problems anger issues never ending. Selfish personality problems. Lost our home cars boats. Nice wages but I still want to stand bye him money doesn't matter. Now there's impetence for two years. No intimacy no love anymore. But now I'm disabled with a painful decease hard to be the perfect wife. Now my weight is out of control. I feel ugly, fat , unwanted. I need love I am lovable I can love someone perfectly! I still want it to be me and him but I see no hope ever! I disgust the only person who ever loved me like a man can love a woman!!!! I am so sad ! This is my reality everyday when people stop and say (hi! How are you how are things going ? ). My anserw in my unspoken answer is shitty without hope! Stacy