I am 45 my new husband is 56.
We met last May 2012and married this May 2013. We have been together since we met, living together ever since!
What attracted me to him was his air of fun, his easy chuckle. He seemed to understand me and we got on easily and very comfortable with him. To be honest he also looked affluent and successful. I fell in love with him when I saw how tender he is when he teaches. He runs a swimming school, teaching children to swim.... and he adored me. Told me he had never been in love before....and was blown away by me.

I do however feel he loves the look of me, I always have to be well dressed and made up, hair done, but I do this anyway. I do feel he may not be so interested in me if I didnt do this! Also sexually he is quite demanding, often entering me in the middle of the night, which to be honest hurts me physically. Not sure if he notices. But we do make love every morning and sometimes in the afternoons too. Thats ok, sometimes I feel as if he is bored and cant think of anything else to do!

He has been married three times, he cheated on all his wives. For which he has a good reason/story to justify this.
We are both self-employed and work from home. I work for him sometimes.

The immediate attraction we felt for each other ( we met dancing Ceroc) has lasted but this man has a strange hold over me, I cant explain how he makes me feel but he is a very strong person. The phrase 'his way or no way' was definately meant for him.! He is also kind loving and generous but alternatively I look at him and he is expressionless and cold.Non reactive.
The problem is that I have an uneasy feeling about the power he has over me in this relationship and I need to regain some! He is a very strong man for sure and I like this but he does impose his wishes upon me and others without hearing or being able to consider their feelings, it seems!

He makes me feel as if I can do nothing to get his respect and admiration - this is what I want. Nothing I seem to do is good enough and I feel like I am a constant disappointment, but he does however say I am an amazing women and such like. Which leave me feeling confused.
For example: I recently managed to get an art gallery to take two of my paintings. ( he told me I need to get some of my work sold, so I worked hard to find a gallery) I was very excited and came home to tell him the news. He was very disappointed in me, that I had let them go for such a low amount ( £1600). I felt crushed to be honest. Very sad.

He talks to me like he is my Father and makes me feel like a child. Im not sure how he does this but it troubles me as i am a strong feisty business women.

He also made me sell my car so we only have his which ties me to the house.
If I want to buy something I have to ask his permission, such as a treadmill, to which he said no.
I used to do volunteer work with children in a local hospice and he made me give this up.

Im not quite sure why I agreed to all these things, but I just want to please him!

If I text him when he has popped out, something sweet and loving, he almost never replies, or spontaneously texts me either. But in the privacy of our bedroom he is loving and kind and holds me tight.
I know I married him quickly and the first year of marriage is often difficult but I need to regain some control and regain some self confidence.
My children say to me, why do you care what he thinks so much? and to be honest Im not sure but I never seem to get there....

I have a feeling this is doomed and he doesnt make me happy but this is my fourth marriage and I dont want to fail. ( Marriage one 12 years, left me when pregnant, marriage two 10 years and I left due to his temper and violence, marriage 3 had BPD and three suicide attempts in 2 years then he left me.)

As a couple we are good together on the whole but there are these issues which make me lie awake at night wondering how I got here!
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading.