Hi. Hope the situation calmed down. Been married 25 years and I have never swore or yelled at my wife. I think men should have more self control. Especially when she was pregnant. However I may be a freak of nature. Think I have more of a feminine side than most men. Stil his actions seem callous. But the other possibility that strikes me is that he might just be really anxious about becoming a dad! Big step. How did he respond to marriage? The other big step. Did you notice any similar outbursts? I hope you can talk to him to express that he upset you and, directly, the baby. He has to pull it together for his ‘literally ‘ growing family. And if he is nervous maybe you can help reassure him. Like if you think he will be a good father, tell him so. Or if not maybe you guys could do some reading together to start preparing.

My husband is already a father from his previous marriage. It's almost like I'm preparing myself to be a single parent. Maybe I should.

Ouch. Sorry I guess that changes what I was thinking/hoping. I’m not sure what to say other than stay strong and hope you can find a way to get him to open up so you can see what is really going on. You certainly deserve clarity in your life now. Keep expressing yourself. It does help. Here and at home.

Hey girl. I'm pregnant too and husband becomes an anxious nut job each time. This is our 4th living child. After we suffered 2 miscarriages he calmed down realizing children are a blessing, but he still gets extremely anxious and moody.

Feel free to private message me.

One thing I can absolutely guarantee you: dogs are animals, babies are fragile and vulnerable and if you want that dog NOT near your baby, you have every single right to express your concerns and consult your physician about your circumstances. put your foot down especially if it's a crazy breed. Look up pitbull victim awareness, and recently a newborn was mauled to death by an exotic wolf breed dog. Dobermans, dalmations, German Shepards should be treated with extreme caution as i was attacked as a 3 year old without provocation by a German Shepard. They're DOGS, not humans who exercise judgment and rationale. If you have a pet that's a lap dog, it's less of an issue with newborns, infants, and toddlers but it can still be an issue.

Worse comes to worst, as time progresses in your pregnancy and you feel less and less keen on having that dog near your child, prepare yourself to tell him: it's your wife and newborn, or it's a damned dog, choose.

As a mom I have ALWAYS had to protect my children from wreckless owners, just the other day a dog wandered into our yard and my 10 month old was in his swing. You're a mom now and your priority is your baby. If your husband doesn't see eye to eye then he may just make your entire pregnancy a living hell.

Thnx i appreciate ur feedback. My dog is a puggle pitbull bulldog mix. If i were to put my hand on my husband the dog would snap n try to attack me. My husband says he's only playing. I don't think so. 5yrs old and has it's 7th home. My own mother won't come by bc of the animal. Oh and i also have asthma and I'm allergic to it. So go figure

Okay, that's a very big red flag. I'm also asthmatic and severely allergic to cats, dogs, rabbits, and more. Thankfully my husband shares my allergies and my sentiments about choosing children over dogs as well despite our other differences.

Hurt2noend: the problem is 4 fold: you are allergic, you do not know 100% the history of this dog (and shelters will say anything to get you to adopt the dog), the dog has a history with not letting you approach his/her owner (hubby), and the breed itself is unpredictable. Hubby HAS TO PUT YOU AND BABY FIRST, no questions. PLEASE do 2 things for yourself: 1, Google "national pit bull victim awareness", read the stories and familiarize yourself with the jaw dropping statistics of pitbull breed mixes. 2, talk to your mom and friends and ob/gyn ESPECIALLY, and run by them how you feel about it and maybe they can give you feedback to help convince husband that the dog can't stay. The dog cannot stay sweetie, it's way too risky. God forbid something DOES happen to baby (despite you taking extreme measures to keep dog away from child), accidents happen and law enforcement DOES prosecute parents for exposing their kids to dogs who have admitted witnessing erratic and troubling behavior around other humans and dogs. That dog could be a LEGAL liability to you and your husband if something happens and your husband needs a reality check. (Maybe that's why he was cursing and angry/profane, because he knows deep down you're right. )

Again I'm here for you and feel free to msg me.

Thank u. Yeah hopefully my husband will realize I'm right about this one. I will not put my child in jeopardy. If it's me and my child my child will definitely outrule this ass dog. I'm definitely not paying for it to go to the vet. And unfortunately my husband doesn't realize that I handle all the finances. This is costly. A vet visit here is 150.00 wtf!

You know... one thing I have always done is feed my husband a great meal before i have any big news to give him, usually bad. Sounds downright stupid but it works. The second thing I do is, like a lawyer, ask for 5 min of uninterrupted dialogue where you present your subject, your position, your reasons, your evidence, and then a solution. Totally calm.

For example the first time I had to tell my husband that our landlord was not going to renew our lease because he wanted to turn our residence into more Office Space, and we were expecting our 1st baby in a couple of months, I knew this was going to stress out my husband. So I fed him a meal, I told him the news, and then I showed him all the different places that I had already made appointments for him and I to go visit. We also had dogs back then and I told him that my plan was to give our dogs to my parents and I had already talked to them about it and they had already said yes. Men are not stupid, yet their anxiety can get the best of them and proposing a plan before you reengage your spouse about the dog might be best.

Maybe introduce a new hobby or something to replace the love that your husband has for that dog. Be patient and give it a couple weeks to prepare yourself and devise multiple solutions for your problem, because one thing is for sure, the dog cannot stay, and it would not be fair to you to deal with potential resentment from him for you making the right and responsible decision. Trust your gut sweetie, I'd be pissed if I had to worry about a dog and my baby's safety during my entire pregnancy, then be able to enjoy the pregnancy of my first child. You're right to be confused by his behavior.

Uggh this whole dog thing just curls my toes. He really doesn't understand how my asthma affects this. It's like he told me take a pill. Um it's a pulmonary disease. I'll find a way to get this animal out of my house. One way or another. Ohh and my husband has some severe allergies and says it's all seasonal and he's had 4x doctor's tell him he's allergic to dogs!

Ok, I hope it’s ok to put in my two cents here. Dees been giving you great advice so I wanted to stay out of it. But a lot of this is very familiar to me also. LL is allergic also but lovea dogs and they have always been a part of her life. When we first met 29 years ago she had a big dog with bad skin so he was pretty stinky. I grew up without any pets as my father has severe allergies. So this was a point of contention as I couldn’t warm up to a dog that honestly grossed me out. When we had dated a few years and decided to move in together she asked her brother to take it. Years went by and after we had our daughter we decided to find a dog that fit us. Luckily we found a border collie that I was very comfortable being around our two year old. Proved to be a loyal pet. But she has held a resentment all these years about how I ‘handled ‘ the first one. Only now that we are trying to really put in the effort to understanding eachother have we been able to talk about it in a productive way. Also years later when my son was a toddler she ‘rescued ‘ a german shepherd. The very first day it lunged at my son who has gotten near the food bowl. Luckily I was right there and grabbed the dog to throw it outside. Brought it straight to the shelter. That was scary close and I never would have forgiven myself or her for that matter if he had been hurt.

Thanks FAA. You made me laugh when you said the dog grossed you out, hahaha! It's funny, I couldn't stand my husband's family dog and everybody never understood why, but it was an obnoxious beagle that would steal food from the table, and to this day when my husband and I joke about that dog (because she's dead now) I still tell him of what a gross and ill behaved dog she was. And he defends her! I like my dogs obedient and trustworthy.

Hopefully, h2ne, FAAs story can show you that having pets and balancing children is nothing new to couples having kids, and your husband is being unreasonable.

My best friend and her husband had adopted a dog from a shelter after they married, not a pit bull mix, and some months later they got pregnant. I asked my friend how she felt about the dog, and at that time she thought that having the baby and taking care of the dog would be no big deal. Especially since her husband really liked the dog. Fast forward 3 years today, and they still can't find a new home for the dog because they're exhausted from the drama and vet bills.

It is just too much for them to clean up too. Between Cheerios for their kid on the kitchen floor, dog vomit because the dog is always eating things she shouldn't, dog fur getting on clean baby blankets, the dog grabbing the baby's sippy cup and mauling her toys, they've had enough of her and that was a year ago.

You're on the right path girlie just stay cool and arm yourself with knowledge.

Oh yeah and btw, asthma is not a small deal. That's a big deal. I find it perplexing that spouses get pets without considering the other spouses health considerations. My brother has always been severely allergic to cats and dogs and his wife has a cat and continues to purchase more animals. He's been taking Zyrtec for years now and he's a complete zombie. At least when my husband and I were together we had non-shedding dogs (hair vs fur, they're expensive) and even then we were not free to cuddle with the dogs because they were like tiny swiffers carrying dust with them. Bathing them all the time and taking them to the groomers and the vet were also expenses for us that we found ourselves needing once the baby was born.

My husband doesn't seem to seriously realize that my asthma is really bothering me. And he brought this dog home with a 5min conversation. We talked about it for 5min. Next i know I'm responsible for a dog???! Wth. Not fair to me!