It may not be you or the upcoming marriage. He may have some things he needs to work out for himself. Is the communication good between you two? That’s everything in a marriage. To talk openly and more important, honesty. Could he be holding something back from not just you but himself? I have experience with this as I did the same thing. We married very young and there were parts that I hadn’t looked at in myself. Have worked them out but it took a long time. I’m probably projecting my experience so forgive me but that’s what comes to mind. When you talk about it be aware of his eyes. Are they looking at you openly with love or can you see any hints of a shadow? Windows to the soul. Read what they say. Also what you said about feeling like you are failing and losing a battle.... this needs to be a 50/50 effort. Never take on your partners half. Let him be responsible for his own happiness.

Only you are responsible for your happiness.
Even after you get married, a partner is able to create up to ten percent of your happiness... the rest of your life, confidence and happiness is up to YOU>

You will have to decide YOU are happy. You can't fix anyone else.

Maybe you are not ready.

G

You have beeb dating since you were 18 or 19 years old. Young adults can go through A LOT of growing up and changing during the next several years. Or not.

I would think long and hard about your decision to proceed with the marraige. You have doubts and are reaching out for a reason. Carefully consider how your decision will affect your future. Is your future with this person heading in the right direction?

Please don't make the tragic mistake of thinking "it will all get better once we get married." Because I can guarantee you it usually doesn't.