I am 33 years old and have been lying for most of my life. My lies are usually lies that will avoid conflict with those involved and trying to keep the peace with everyone. I don't know where this all comes from. But it has finally caught up with me after all these years. I can remember that when I was married and I had dealt with alot of conflict between myself, my wife (at the time), and my mother. They did not get along and I would often be in the middle. So what I would do is omit informaiton or tell a white lie to one or the other to avoid more conflict. I remember this just driving me crazy, lost, and stuck. Often times, I would not be caught in the lie as those two would not communicate with each other but just me. So it started to become easier to lie then to deal with everything. Turned into a habit. Then I got divorced. My ex-wife had an emotional affair and wanted a divorce. We have 3 kids together. It was one of the toughest things I have had to go through. Even divorced I would often let my ex-wife control my life and my emotions. This finally has come to a hault a little over 5 months ago. Keep in mind our divorce was in 2011. Two years ago I met the most wounderful, kind, beuatiful woman I have ever met. This woman is my soul mate and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Things started out GREAT. We were so in love. But during the time, I would often, again, omit informaiton from her about talking to my ex-wife and going to other people when I was having problems. Other women. And then not telling her or telling her I did not. In fear of making myself not look like this man she wanted and hurting her feelings or making her upset. There is something about this woman that I never want to upset her. But I often do with my lying. I was engaged to this beautiful woman until everything caught up to me and was caught in all my lies and omissions. She wouldn't believe a word I would say. I promised to change and never lie again. She took me back. We are still together but on the verge of her having enough and calling it quites for good. Because I would continue to lie. Now its little white lies. Again to avoid updetting her or making myself look like this terrible person and not perfect like I have always wanted her to think of me. I HAVE to stop this behavior. I don't know what my problem is and why I can not just stop. She doesn't understand why I can't either and lying infuates her more than anything. But yet, she is still with me. I know she loves me. i know she wants to be with me and marry me. But not like this. She can't. And I don't blame her. I have this terrific woman right in front of me and ready to live life with me but I can't seem to grasp it. I feel worthless. I feel like eventually I will mess it all up for good. I have these periods of time where I do great and tell her everything. But then it seems like something happens that I fear could damage our relationship that much more and I either omit it or lie about it. I want to move on with my life with her. But I have to change this habit. I just can't do it anymore. I have burned so many bridges with my lies. I know that it will take a lot of work to repair all the damage I have done but I want to make that effort. But I have no idea where to start. Where do I begin?! What can I do?! Someone please help me. This is not fair to her, her son, or my three kids. I don't want this life for them. I want to be the man that they all know I can be.