I am 19 years old. I lied 2 weeks ago about breaking down boxes that I didn't. I'm currently staying in my aunt and uncle's house while they're in a different state visiting family. They're super upset. I've lied and snuck around like this a ton of times while I've lived here, but I think it's different this time, because they aren't here. They don't trust me and I feel awful about it. They helped me get out of the house of my abusive father and paid for everything and anything I needed for the last year. I feel so lucky to have them and I feel safe here which is so new to me. They are a super loving and functional family and I feel like I fucked that up for them. It makes me feel so guilty. I don't make the conscious decision to lie. It just comes out and I can't help it most of the time and it's usually about dumb stuff. I am not sure where it comes from and I feel like I owe them an explaination. I know it used to keep me safe when I lived with my abusive father, but now that I'm out of that environment I can't stop. I'm trapped in survival mode. That's what I'm good at and that's what I know. When life is normal and things are good I get bored and I think some times that's why I subconsciously fuck it up. I don't know what to do now. I don't know how to fix it. I know this is a super important lesson I just haven't figured it out yet. I feel like they might kick me out though, because I feel like this was the last straw. I feel really guilty about it, but I'm going to keep working towards my dreams and goals even if now it's a little more complicated. I'm more scared that I'm going to lose them as my support system. I'm also scared that they're going to send me back to my dad's house or make my life here till I move out hell, because I've done that and it isn't something I'm down for. Anyway if anyone can relate to my experience please comment anything because I'm feeling really bad about myself and alone right now. Thank you for reading.