Okay, so I really need some help. My girlfriend is a sex addict/avoidant, and I'm a love addict/codependent. We had agreed to a sexual cooling-off period as we both worked our programs...a period that lasted a lot longer than I had thought it would (close to seven months). But while it was frustrating, I understood that recovery has its own timetable, and I didn't want to endanger her recovery, even as I knew that I was ready to resume having sex. So about a month ago she surprised me by taking the initiative, something she rarely ever did, and we made love in a very healthy manner. It was...incredible for recovery. I saw how it could be connected and spiritual.

Since then, she's avoided the topic of sex whenever I bring it up, to the point where she barely touches me. I mean, not even touching me "there", but anywhere. If there's cuddling to be done, I initiate it. She admitted that she had decided to just wait for me because she didn't want me to feel like she was leading me on toward sex, and that she has a huge amount of anxiety now around sex, which is not that new, but this unwillingness to even rub my arm or my leg lest I think she's leading me on is completely new, and very disturbing.

I asked her about the anxiety, and it seems she's afraid that sex between us will change the dynamic of our relationship, or something along that line. After some discussion, we've both kind of figured out that she's swung over to full-blown anorexia. The reason I'm writing about this here is 1. I want to know if any of you have this experience and how you've dealt with it, because it triggers some of my love addiction issues in the worst possible ways, and 2. are there any unforeseen issues that I might not be thinking about when it comes to relating between an anorexic and a love addict? I'm already completely frustrated with the situation, and wrestling with the addict, who wants to use this as an excuse for an affair. Any advice?