I go thru the same thing, Paul. It's easy, if out of nothing but their own sense of sheer terror, to want to somehow REDUCE what the elder survivors have been thru. I mean, it's really freekin scarey, when they would LIKE to believe this crap the doctors tell them, that aids is no longer a death sentence. We remind them, that they told us this as early as 1995... and to someone who is 25, 1995 is 'forever ago'... I'm not saying all agist disrespect toward older patients has its roots in the same sense, but, I DO see big reasons why there might be a tendancy/urge on the part of some of the newbie young hiv poz people to 'minimise' the great heroics it took for most of us to emerge thru the other end of what is now nearly three decades of this nightmare.

I can barely speak to the newly diagnosed that i meet, as soon as I find out they wont even do their own homework, wont study their own medical material, and have only to parrot something they 'heard' elsewhere, to deem something an absolute truth.

When these kids are brainwashed with the audacity of hope, that aids is not the killer it used to be, even when the reality on the ground is that people are dying at NO MORE OR LESS A RATE THAN EVER, i can see why engaging with US... the few of us that remain, healthy or not,... i can see why we would represent something very terrifying.

i mean, in OUR DAY, nobody knew for sure. today, they THINK they know, that things will go better for them than the nightmare stories of old... yet deep down inside they are still shitting bricks over wether they will be the survivor, or the one who kicks the bucket.

And of course, there is this aids education program in every city that has these kids thinking theyre the latest hottest best educated among all patients. To say we know more experientially, is to THEM, and that we are among a scant few who 'made it'.... is to them, proof that we must have known less, because afterall, aids doesnt kill like it used to.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK KIDDIES.

i TOTALLY empathise with you paul. it's tough, for any generation of experienced people, to communicate with the younger of their lot.

Thanks for responding Taoe. I decided to come to this group with my grievances because they really don't care on the main board. Some gal just went off on me for not coo-cooing over someone who may or may not be positive (and quite likely could be just someone trying to get attention -- Lord knows the HIV board sees enough of those dramatics) because I corrected a statement someone made about straight people vs. gay people and transmission that could have been misinterpreted. She preferred keeping her head buried in the sand and was upset by reading anything factual in the thread.

If the next generation can survive by giving each other hugs and saying "oh poor dear" they must be made of stronger stuff than we are.

as long as the almighty 'they'... keep us bickering and being emotionally reactive to split-hair issues, we all lose. this whole freekin thing is based on a foundations of unstable twisted truths to begin with.

the big picture. everything else is the work of wedge-driving artisans, polticos, numb-skulls, skullduggery, and of course, gallo's unsubstantiated, UNREPRODUCABLE, unethical, nefarious bio-trickery.

someone still needs to explain to me why dna chain terminataion isnt covered by 'first do no harm', and what it is they're actually measuring when they say we're antibody positive.

jon scythes has a few things to toss over their heads too.

as for the drama, well, i recognise that these people, just like our generation was, are so used, abused, over-used, traumatised, mis/mal,and underinformed. and this goes for issues across the board in today's 'new age'...

viva christine.

guypaul, W/out knowing much of this person besides what I've read, it's evident that he is immature & confrontational. The list of meds reveals many issues & shouldn't be taken seriously. I can only imagine that acceptance of how things are for him is highly distracted or even unreachable w/the itinerary of so many medications. Reaction is a temporary fix for anger. Any longterm survivors have come to accept how things are and have some kind of peace w/in, otherwise we wouldn't be sharing our wisdom today. Take care of yourself & just let it go.

Your letters have stirred such emotion in me.
I live in Mexico, the rainy season has started, that means I am having problems breathing.
When I am struggling for air, I remember the first friend that I had who died of PCP. He was 23yrs. They closed the entire floor of the hospital, we wore "space suits" to visit him.
I also remember the first time I met survivors of concentration camps. I was young and they made good natured fun of me. One said " I can't hear so well, the war. Have you ever been in a war?" The other two smiled.
I didn't understand them.
Sometimes I take pride in having survived so long. The truth is I am a fool, sometimes stubborn, sometimes right and sometimes lucky.
Without question the hardest part for me is the uncertainty.
The most rewarding part is living a life that few others will ever know. Being a long term survivor means having feelings and experences on the cutting edge of the human experence.

I, just one voice can't speak for the younger generation, but I'll tell you how I feel. I've always wanted to learn from my elders, be it my dad teaching me how to change an alternator or listening to my great grandmothers recollections of her youth while she was still with us. Don't let some snot nosed brat that has demonstrated such poor character get to you. I'm newly diagnosed, have a heavy sceptic streak, and don't put a lot of stock in the 'general buzz' that surrounds the flippant attitude so many young people have about this lifelong disease, this unwelcome force inside our bodies. I know it's serious and I want to hear your stories. I want to learn what you've learned the hard way, I want your take on what I feel are 'lies' fed to us by the media. How do we find real friends in real life that will take us as we are, in sickness and in health?

My questions go on forever, and the more my elders are willing to share, the more gratitude and respect I feel for all of you. You've had it much harder than the newly infected, you've been mistreated, lied to, experimented on and yet no one cares? That can't be true. What I wouldn't give to have someone older and wiser to hug me and help me navigate the important decisions that I WILL have to make at some point.

You are valued, respected and in my mind Heroes. Please don't stop sharing on account of some unstable punk.

Much love and respect,
gcg