Hello, 

I am new to this site.  I am looking for support.  I have been married for 11 years to a man that I am just now FINALLY realizing probably has OCD (not officially diagnosed).  We have just found out that our 8 yr old son has OCD and we are seeking treatment.  I have never had anxiety in my entire life.  Have always been what I thought was a happy content person.... until..... I got married.  I have a husband who is socially awkward (averts eye contact), very rigid, non empathetic, a perfectionist, compulsive about money management, emotionally distant, highly defensive, unreasonable when trying to discuss different perspectives on things and takes everything I say as critical attacks, tactilely sensitive, orally sensitive as well, highly anxious, stuck on patterns and routines, rigid to change, cannot vacation, etc etc.  The list goes on and on.  over the past 6-10 years I have suffered huge amounts of personal anxiety that has manifested itself in insomnia.  I absolutely am at my end.  We have sought marital counseling last year which helped me "feel better" temporarily and stopped this past summer, but arguements and conflicts worsened in summer, so now restarting this Oct in hopes to help things get better.  I am seeking individual counseling and trying desparately to manage my stress and anxiety as a result of this.  My individual counselor on our first visit just last week, said that she thinks my husband has OCD!!!!!  Not unlike the recent diagnosis of my son.  I am a chrisitian and have 2 absolutely beautiful loving children.  I have told my husband I will leave him if things don't get better.  There is no way I can continue in this marriage with a man who is completely and absolutely unreasonable.  He doesn't, nor do I WANT a divorce.  However, that will be the only option if we don't get help and now I'm realizing he DEFINITELY needs help.  I pray daily that God will lead us to the place that will help us.  

I just joined this support group, bc I need any support I can get with advice as to how to cope with this.  Right now, I haven't actually discussed with my husband that I / my therapist think he might have OCD himself.  If I did, he would deny it 1000%.  He has denied the fact that our son has something wrong and has fought me tooth and nail to get him evaluated.  If I were to approach M (my husband) with this concept, he will defend and deny everything about it.  Does anyone have any advice as to how to approach this and how to cope?  My counselor has recommended books "Brainlock".  We are restarting couples therapy in Oct.  I just started individual therapy.  My son will start therapy for OCD in the next week or so.  Do i simply ride this wave of therapy and wait til therapists/I broach this concept?  

This realization is giving me a little relief.  However, the trauma this awful disease has caused me and my psyche and emotional well being is enough to send me to the loony bin.  Insomnia and gut rot is now what I'm dealing with as a result.  Which makes me EXTREMELY angry and resentful, bc I have NEVER experienced this kind of trauma in my life ever.  I like to consider myself a well adjusted happy person.  Any advice to to how to get rid of that resentment.... I will take it.....   

At this point, my husband takes little to NO responsibility ever for anything he does "wrong" in a conflict with me.  He is often very quick to criticize me and blame ME for everything and anything that might go wrong as opposed to recognizing ANY part that might be his in the conflict / problem.  Again, as a result of that, my anger and resentment are as thick as hardening concrete.  

Does anyone have any advice as to help me cope at least temporarily while I wait for therapy to progress?  I am losing sleep at least 1-2 nights per week.  My only saving grace is my faith in God, good christian friends, support from family, reading, meditating, and I hate to say it, but emotional and mental separation from my husband.  :(  I am so envious and jealous of couples where the husband shows physical affection and interest in his wife.  My husband averts his eyes and I need to ask EVERY SINGLE day for a hug, conversation, etc.  He demonstrates little to no interest in talking to me and asks few to no questions of me.  Such a lonely place to be.  

I am so very sad and depressed and anxious in my marriage.  I hope my marriage will work out.  However, if God leads me to a place where separation/divorce is the only answer, I have accepted that option.  BUT I truly do not want that.  I hope and pray daily that we can find some answers and hopefully get the RIGHT kind of help.  

Any advice and/or support is welcome!!!!!!  I need it.  Thank you.