I'm new to this discussion board, but not new to urinary incontinence.  About 9 years ago a unexpected medical side effect left me almost totally urinary incontinent.  I was horrified when it first started happening, as I was in the hospital and unexpectedly wet the bed several times causing the nurses to change the bed linens.  The nurses were truly amazing and didn't make it a big deal at all and blamed it on the medication I had taken and the procedure that was done, but I felt so bad for causing them to have to do more work because of what happened.  After the second time, the nurse said "Would you mind if I got you something that might help?"  I said "Of course not" and was really not sure what to expect, but when she walked back in my room carrying several adult-sized diapers, I just wanted to crawl under the bed and hide.  She asked if she could help me with putting one on, and I was so embarassed I told her no, that I would take care of it.  After she left, I knew I didn't want to wet the bed and create more work for her, so I figurerd out how to put one on.  When I woke up in the morning it was wet, and a day-shift nurse asked if I needed help changing it.  Again, I was so embarassed, I said "No thank you" and she persisted a little bit saying she knew it was uncomfortable.  But I held my ground and said I would rather change it myself.  I continued to leak and have to change what I was wearing, but at least I was not wetting the bed linens.  I was referred to a urologist who conducted numerous tests and tried quite a few medications which all had no benefit or horrific side-effects.  I finally accepted the fact that I would have to wear some sort of protection 24/7.  I am very active, with a full-time job and didn't want to change my life because I was incontinent.  After a lot of trial and error, I found that wearing a Depend Real Fit pullup during the day, and changing into a diaper in the evening, then a heavier diaper at night worked for me.  Hiding them under clothing and just doing my normal routine became very comfortable to me.  I learned that I was way more self-concious about it, and no one (that I know of) has noticed that I have something extra under my clothing.  So, sorry about the novel, but my advice is, if you need to wear some sort of protection, do it, they are easy to hide under clothing and there is nothing to be scared about.  Don't let incontinence change who you are, confront it, do what you need to do, wear what you need to to control it, and be the person that you want to be.  I have been through airport security, spent lots of time with friends, and with a little common sense, what you have to do to deal with it goes quite un-noticed.