Lift Me Up Community Group
I wanted to create a place you can come and feel wanted, inspired, and happy. I post a lot of stuff on various topics, much of it motivational and inspiring, and sometimes just humorous. Feel free to contribute anything you feel is helpful to others here and join in. No negative crap please, or politics, check them at the door. Welcome. G

marytcontrary
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency,and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't" he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.
Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure" said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
thislpass
Bahahaha!!
LuvMyTitans
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Desigol1979
LOL!
AngelAshley123
Well, if woman use a cuecumber, not so surprising that he used a pumpkin. I just hope that she made sure he cleaned up the badlands before bringing him in the car. He likes it squishy, not surprising, squishy squishy pumpkinny goodness. :P
Mutley1946
Hee Hee Hee...... snicker snicker snicker. Of course I would never do something like that.... really I wouldn't. Now Luv.... stop that laughing.
LuvMyTitans
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... I know you wouldn't Mutley! Hee Hee Hee... snicker snicker snicker...
AngelAshley123
Wait, you didn't use a pumpkin without protection did you? Whoever said that pumpkin was seedless is a lie.
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