Life In Sobriety Community Group
A group for all those who are living a sober life and want to discuss how it is for you today - months, years into sober living. The focus is not on how you got sober, it's how you see and appreciate your life today and how your relationships with people and life itself may have changed.
There is a guy at my home group that insists that if we must be free of anger that means we can never be/get angry.
I disagree, I believe that anger is a natural human emotion that I will get sometimes and that being free of anger is more about not holding onto that anger (til it becomes resentment) and not expressing it in unhealthy ways e.g. the grouch and the brainstorm. I will inevitably get angry but the spiritual approach is about how I deal with that anger and whether I can deal with it in a healthy/constructive way and grow as the result of it.
What is your take on the statement that we must be free of anger and why do you see it the way you do?
Thanks.
I disagree, I believe that anger is a natural human emotion that I will get sometimes and that being free of anger is more about not holding onto that anger (til it becomes resentment) and not expressing it in unhealthy ways e.g. the grouch and the brainstorm. I will inevitably get angry but the spiritual approach is about how I deal with that anger and whether I can deal with it in a healthy/constructive way and grow as the result of it.
What is your take on the statement that we must be free of anger and why do you see it the way you do?
Thanks.
Whenever I feel angry I have to take a step back - I can't help my first thought but I can do something about the behaviour that follows - that's about spiritual discipline, I can exercise that, that is within my own power - the "proper use of the will" that the Big Book talks about. Spot check inventory is appropriate, restraint of tongue or pen, text, email, here on DS! and all the rest.
I am grateful the 12 Step program has given me many tools to ensure my life runs smoother - Step 10, an objective look at myself, noting progress or backsliding, and taking action to ensure those deadly resentments don't take root. Damage limitation too - making amends I'd rather not make and doing them now, resolving to try harder to be more reasonable/understanding/patient i.e. putting into practise the opposite of whatever current defect is knocking on my door.
Step 11 to ask for God's will for me and to ask for the necessary power to carry that out, I can't remove my defects, they come back with alarming regularity, but that's where the power I don't posssess comes in.
Progress is often slower than I want it to be but as long as progress is made, my life gets better.
Thanks for the post, it really made me dig deep and consider it carefully.
I wonder if the gentleman in your group is confused with resentments. Great post
Myself, I try to avoid it at all costs. Some of us are just wired a bit different I guess. I used to let anger consume me. I played into all those angry feelings I had and the drinking definitely didn't help. I almost felt like I was ticking time bomb about to explode at the time of my ultimate rock bottom. Now I am feeling much better. I still have work to do in that area but ultimately I try to avoid any thoughts or actions propelled by anger. There's too many happy things going on in my life now that I never knew were there. It's time to catch up on all of those things.