When i was six years old my 14 year old cousin at the time was supposed to be watching me. Well i followed him into his room at the time and he was playing with his boom box. I guess i wasn't supposed to be in there because the next thing i knew i slammed the door behind us and told me i had a consequence for walking into his bedroom . He then started yelling at me to take my clothes off shaking me getting in my face and yelling. I then took everything off except my underwear. He shook me again and whispered in my ear if i didn't take off my "panties" it was going to hurt worse. So i took them off and set them on the floor. The next thing i knew he threw me onto the bed got undressed and got on top of me. He then started having sex with me. I was curious i guess and while it was happening i could see his penis going in and out of me. I would scream everytime he would enter me. I don't know why it hurt so bad to this day. After what seemed like hours of that he then made us switch positions. And instructed me on how to give him head. He said if i didn't he was gonna stick it in my mouth for me and tell granny and pop i was bad. So i listened. I remember that this stuff was coming out and my lips were around his penis. After that we were done we got up from the bed blood dripping down my legs. Now you see why i punish myself. I need to weigh or get down to 80 pounds. Maybe then i wouldn't be a slut and i would be nearly dead .