I experienced 50 years of emotional abuse from my mother who just might have a pathological personality disorder. There is now no communication between us and I feel so free. I'm now exploring to see what I like and don't like and have an enjoyable "rest of my life". I'm sixty years old thus that challenge seems overwhelming. Such does get me down at times. My only inspiration comes from a woman of SEVENTY years old who just started going to CODA meetings. I returned her call as part of my volunteerism for CODA. She was so optimistic. Yet here I am, sixty and already wear SHE wants to be and yet I often lack optimism. I remember that phone call as if I responded to it yesterday. She is about the only person that gives me the drive to keep pushing forward. I have my adopted Sis(sentimentally speaking) who really is great at encouraging me. But I can't have her attention at any given moment as our lives are differrent. She still means the world to me. But when left with the F2F world I feel so pessimistic at times. I'm at least aware that the "at times" are fleeting moments that don't hang around. I would just like to progress faster. I fear that at my age I don't have the time needed to just "take my time" anymore.