After being abused emotionally from so many people, including my mother for most of my life, probably all of my life, I'm not always willing to give people the benifit of the doubt. I have been lied to so much that believing people is almost alien to me. The hypervigilance is a temporary thing. But it takes a whole lot more than six months to trust somebody. As I write this I'm thinking of blocking a friend of mine on facebook. We have gotten to talking a lot over the phone. But now I'm putting bits and pieces of conversations together by means of cross referencing and am sensing he might have an antisocial behavior problem and that I just might be in the process of being studied by him to find out how he could abuse me. Better to not let him get to that devaluation stage. Been there already so I know the score. I'm not winning. I'm suppossed to see a social worker to deal with all kinds of abuse due to antisocial behavioral patterns or what seemmed as such. So I prefer to run when I come across it in others. I'll settle for some emotional distance anyway. Apart from that I am feeling great. But people in face to face format? That is sometimes something I like to avoid. Easier and less threatenning online. But I am a lot more peaceful now apart from occasional bouts where the hypervigilance turns fact into fiction by worrying too much about certain individuals who are not a problem in reality. That is where I am at now.