I’m new to the group, but I sure could use some help. I am what both of my daughters refer to as a “pathological liar.” I prefer to call it “chronic,” but a rose by any other name….

I have been married for 46 years to a wonderful woman. She has:

·         A heart of gold

·         A spine like rebar steel

·         A mind like a Cray computer (Do they make those anymore?)

·         The honesty of an Abraham Lincoln

·         The determination, tenacity,  and strength of character of an Army Ranger or Navy Seal

And for these 46 years, I have been lying to her so much that it has become automatic – a knee-jerk reaction. And my  reason for  seems to escape me. She says it is because I am a bad person with no moral compass or conscience. Most of the time I believe that she is on the right track. Perhaps rebellion?  I live by a rather Draconian set of rules against which I may be rebelling. (NOTE – these rules are all the direct result of sins I have committed, as explained below)

·         No food that is not vegan. I had Veganism foisted upon me several years ago against my wishes and with no discussion beforehand. It is like a religion to her, which makes me an atheist and a  heretic. And I cheat

·         Max of one drink maybe twice a week. In the past, I had an alcohol abuse problem that came up short of being an alcoholic, but not TOO short

·         Not allowed to have any cash on me. I have stolen from her purse as well as padded expense accounts, then pent  that money on booze & non-vegan food

·         I must account for every second of my time. I had an affair 10+ years ago and had a work schedule that permitted me enough flexibility to sneak around

The list goes on and on…

You get the idea? She doesn’t trust e as far as she can throw me, and I outweigh her by damn near 100 pounds and stand a full head taller than she is.

I have managed to destroy this wonderful woman as well as both of my children; my marriage is rapidly on its way to a messy divorce. This will cause a severe financial strain on the lives of everyone involved, which is something I do not want to do. My father (may he rest in peace) always taught me that it was a man’s primary responsibility to provide for his family. (No, this is not sexist – I am 71 and a 21 year Army vet; Dad served in the USMC in WW2, so I am likely from a different mind-set than most people who are reading this.) As might be imagined, I haven’t come anywhere near this lofty but normal goal.

I need to get my head around this FAST, before it is too late, and I throw away the rest of my life.