Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
Hi...My name is Carlos
and im a lier
It has taken me to be at the very edge of a cliff overlooking a deep vast abyss to get to the realization that yes, i have a serious problem.
Have any of you ever seen the movie the perfect storm. There is a scene in it...where mark walberg is adrift at sea....and its a close up of him. He has this expression of complete hopelessness, and yet he has faced his demons and is reserved enough to just accept his fate...and then the camera panns out and you see him alone...in a sea of torrential waters about to take him in.
thats how i feel right now
Adrift in waters of my own making
and if im going to be honest (ha)
I have always had this in some form
I exaggerate because of low self esteem
I lie to make myself feel better about the parts of myself i dont like or are ashamed of
I also lie because my wife has INTENSE anger issues...and when confronted, i lie to appease rather then face the truth
and its that last one that brings me to the edge of the abyss
im loosing my marriage
To lies that are BEYOND &$&^$^@###@!!! stupid
Because i listen to my fears rather then be an adult. Rather then being rational. Intelligent. Mature.....Honest
I took the first two steps to getting better
i admitted to myself that yes, i have a problem. I raised my hand in the 12 step program running in my head. Hi...my name is Carlos. I have a problem with lying.
and then i placed a few phone calls to some therapists with the hopes i can make an appointment soon.
are these major steps....no
will these steps when showed to my wife mean anything....nope
But they mean something to me
because i may not know allot of things
but i KNOW IM SCK AND TIRED OF TRYING TO SWIM IN THIS
i cant do this, like this...anymore.
all i feel is hurt. Pain. Lonelyness...and fear.
thanks for listening.....
Carlos
and im a lier
It has taken me to be at the very edge of a cliff overlooking a deep vast abyss to get to the realization that yes, i have a serious problem.
Have any of you ever seen the movie the perfect storm. There is a scene in it...where mark walberg is adrift at sea....and its a close up of him. He has this expression of complete hopelessness, and yet he has faced his demons and is reserved enough to just accept his fate...and then the camera panns out and you see him alone...in a sea of torrential waters about to take him in.
thats how i feel right now
Adrift in waters of my own making
and if im going to be honest (ha)
I have always had this in some form
I exaggerate because of low self esteem
I lie to make myself feel better about the parts of myself i dont like or are ashamed of
I also lie because my wife has INTENSE anger issues...and when confronted, i lie to appease rather then face the truth
and its that last one that brings me to the edge of the abyss
im loosing my marriage
To lies that are BEYOND &$&^$^@###@!!! stupid
Because i listen to my fears rather then be an adult. Rather then being rational. Intelligent. Mature.....Honest
I took the first two steps to getting better
i admitted to myself that yes, i have a problem. I raised my hand in the 12 step program running in my head. Hi...my name is Carlos. I have a problem with lying.
and then i placed a few phone calls to some therapists with the hopes i can make an appointment soon.
are these major steps....no
will these steps when showed to my wife mean anything....nope
But they mean something to me
because i may not know allot of things
but i KNOW IM SCK AND TIRED OF TRYING TO SWIM IN THIS
i cant do this, like this...anymore.
all i feel is hurt. Pain. Lonelyness...and fear.
thanks for listening.....
Carlos
It's a long journey back to calm waters but you're right to make the effort. Recovery is an action, I know that myself from lots of tries, and just staying with it for today. I'm quite avoiding about confrontation too, so I can relate to that being a trigger for you. But I keep working on it, and so can you. It can feel very strange to try new ways, but hold on and soon they could feel a lot easier for you.
Our addictive mind is very tricky so the help of a good therapist can help you see outside of yourself.
I read 12 step stuff regularly (like that great book of Melodie Beattie's mentioned on this site) there are lots of great 12 step daily readings that help train your mind into a recovery mind, and to just keep being in recovery from lying just for today.
Blessings on your journey, kiwifeijoa.
I lied to myself so bad that I smelled.
then, lied to others.
I am a compulsive liar.
and I am cash register honest, which means that I am poor, because you know what carlos, our society is a lie.
you said something about the perfect storm.
and about the look on mark's face of total hopelessness.
my question often is, is God a lie. and my own answer to that is no, he ain't no liar.
he don't lie, and he ain't no lie.
i'm tired of all the lying in my lie.
I can't be truthful, because I am a liar.
I picture my husband here beside me in bed, and I wake up, alone, because I was big fat liar.
I still laugh at people when they get tricked in a lie. I laugh at them like they are fools for being so gullible and stupid, and that is a lie, because I don't think people are dumb or stupid.
I think liars are sick people and ruin everything for everybody.
you go guy and buy that frickin food and then take it out everybody that you have to work in a food store. you fucking homo. I love you man, but you gotta get yourself some serious help.
and not a therapist who is prob going to want to have sex with you on her couch.
therapy is a lie. they are all liars.
and they steal your money and they believe in science and they don't believe in God. they are liars.
they want to drug you and rape you and do.