I'm sure if you talked to any therapist or person who's thought enough about ways to deal with your problems (or listened to a lot of TV/Movies), they would tell you you're totally in the wrong to push them into a black hole, or even to keep them in front of you to keep remembering them. I'm not here to tell you you're wrong. I'm going to give you a different way to look at it.

Now, imagine you're life is like a messy room (I came up with this and told my bf about it and he loves it). Clothes all over the place, you haven't cared to pick them up. There's some trash siting all over the room, the bed isn't made, and there's some minor stains in the carpet. Ok, now think of the clothes as all the lies you've told. Some of them are buried under others. Some are hiding under the bed. Some have been there a while and you've outgrown them and they aren't much of a problem you just need to simply throw them away. The trash is the effects and remainder of the lies. They leave a bit of a mess behind after you've lied. Whether it be that people acted differently towards you because of something you told them happened to you, or maybe that some people mistrust you. The small stains are the things that have stained your life. Things that you aren't sure of anymore. They are lies that have really been major in people losing trust in you. And then there's the bed. The bed is the most important part of the room. It's the center piece that makes your room the "bed"room. It's the main attraction if you will. Now this bed is your relationship with your wife let's say. It could mean many other things, but let's say its that for now.

Cleaning your room is not going to be easy. You have to start working on small things first. Focus on the clothes. Tell the truth about your lies. Get them out of the way. And once they are dealt with, keep them in the past. Sure they happened, and sure they may come up in the future, but isn't it powerful when you and your wife both know about what really happened when someone comes up with evidence? You both already know about it, accepted it, and moved on. And you're better because of it! So you start with the clothes. And say, after that, you decide to change the sheets on the bed. Just a small start of regaining trust.

Next, you want to get rid of the trash. Most of this comes out itself when you're picking up the clothes. You get rid of a lot of trash. A lot of this can be admitting to things, apologizing for things, or even fixing things that may have been the result of what you said. You will be surprised how people will react when you tell the truth with a humble heart and ask for forgiveness. Then you have the stains. This takes work, hard and dedicated work, to get them out of the carpet as much as possible. They might be the people that you really hurt. People who feel they can't trust you anymore because of how many times you've lied to them. You have to really work and show that you really are there to become better and admit to the things you've done.

Finally there's the bed. You make the bed and make it look as attractive as possible. This is when it shines the most. In a clean room with a beautifully made bed. You might shift the bed back into place, and it might catch and tear the carpet a little. That tear is a scar as a reminder that it happened. You can cover it up, sure, and its small, but its there because of what happened and there's nothing wrong with that. It's kinda like a reminder never to do it again.

Sure we might have those days where we might come into the room and drop some clothes on the floor. But we have to get in the habit of picking them up and throwing them where they belong. It's easier if you only have one or two small and recent lies to clean up afterwards than a pile of them. And the sooner you correct your lie, the better off you are. Try and practice, even while you're fixing the past. You say something that isn't true, try and fix it there. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Remember, deal with the past and fix it, and once it's dealt with, it stays in the past. It makes you who you are, of course, but it makes you a better person to know it happened and leave it that way than to constantly be reminded that you made very bad decisions. Trust me, once you've started getting some things out of the way, you'll feel a whole lot better that's off your mind and shoulders to keep trying to remember.

Great quote: "Don't lie, it means you never have to remember what you've said."

I really hope this helps...