How long have you been in your relationship? Have you told your partner yet about your problem? Don't feel overwhelmed like you have to change at the flick of a switch. It takes time. Its healing, its behavior modification and if you have been doing this for quite a while then it will take time to break the behavior.

For me I have lied for many years. I have lied about big things and the simplest little things. In my recovery journey I needed to understand the reasons why I lie. I lied to make myself look better, more interesting. I lied to control outcomes, and avoid situations or conflict. Fear and anxiety have troubled me for a very long time. In finding recovery for me I need to learn true acceptance around who I am. I have hurt a lot of important people in my life. In recovery I take things one day at a time and I am gentle on myself. Hope this helps

Hi nhutch84,
Ive been in this relationship for a year and half, although i am still young 19 to be exact. I really didnt have to tell my partner, they came to me about it. But i have admitted to my horrible habit. I know i wont change over night especially for the length of time ive lied, i just really want to stop for the sake of myself, my relationship, and my connection to anyone.
Hi smiller313,
Im in the same boat as you to be honest, i lie to be accepted and fit in, to avoid conflict, and control the outcomes of certain situations. How is the working out for you? When did you start? Have you seen any improvement in yourself since youve started? Im curious to know.

Lying to avoid conflict only leads to more conflict in the end. I am pretty sure I am older than most of you, 50, and it is just about to cost me my marriage. Even after coming clean on the details of an affair (after many over a year of walking the story down), I have so lost the trust of my wife that I have now lost her. I convinced myself, really convinced, that i was doing it to spare her feelings and there was some truth to this but in the end it led to more hurt and more conflict. It sounds to me like you all are catching your issues early. You should be proud of yourselves. Keep up the hard work!

Hey: There. I have have been part of this group since June, I am also active in another 12step fellowship and have been for almost 4yrs. I am doing really well and I have seen improvement. I believe in progress not perfection. I still catch myself lying occassionally but what's different now is I have such awareness as to when it's happening, why it happened. Prior to working my recovery journey it was just so natural and I didn't consider the consequences of my actions. I was really self-absorbed. In recovery I believe three things are key and they need to happen in order (awareness, acceptance and action). My recovery program consistents of the following activities, 1hour meditation class once per week, I attend 1 sometimes 2 12step meetings/week, daily check-ins with people in my fellowship, I exercise 3x/week and once every 2weeks on average I see a therapist. All of this gives me hope and keeps me in a place of gratitude. Hope this helps