Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
Checking back in after being away for a while! I was on my Honeymoon. Married my soulmate. After our brief nuptials we both looked at each other and exclaimed "We made it". My partner and I split up in 2015. She could not abide by my lying. Over and over on these post is the phrase "I never tell big lies". My lies were never about infidelity. They were about behaviors I deemed shame issues and I was afraid to admit to them for FEAR of rejection/abandonment/judgement/imperfection/loss of control.... We both had work to do but my job was me. Lying had become muscle memory in my brain. It was a defense mechanism from my childhood. It did not define me as a good or bad person. It was a bad choice. So through a lot of personal work on a DAILY basis I came to peace with my imperfections and learned they defined me as to who I am. I quit activities that I deemed shameful. I learned to be open with my thoughts even if I knew they would cause disharmony. I learned to address my ego and let it go. Early on I stumbled. The brain had been trained to react to "stress" in a certain way. But with the constant "exercise" of pausing instead of lying, to listening to that internal voice (higher power) that you feel before you tell a lie I changed my behavior pattern. I grew up. It was recognized and we got together again. This time it was on a foundation of absolute truth and honesty even at the expense of ... yes... being vulnerable. We all have the capacity to change and grow. No one would be on this site if they were not motivated to change. I am convinced that everything happens for a reason. I would not be the person I am today without the mistakes I have made getting here! Stay committed. Do the work. Do the work every day! Give gratitude for what you have. And be kind to yourself! All have a great day!!!
I know we all have our own individual challenges (I'm still working on me every day), but reading your story and experiences randomly on the Internet helped me. And at that point, I decided to improve my life in so many ways: by joining this group and reading self-help books and praying more - doing anything I can to go in the right direction. In general, I struggled with telling my inner thoughts, afraid of telling the truth of the things I've done in the past (in fear of rejection), lied to make others look at me as a good girl, manipulate, etc. However, I've been living honestly and only saying things that are true since I've joined the group and working hard to keep going every day. I still have my challenges, like sharing my inner thoughts even when it may not be appropriate or be met with conflict (like you mentioned).
I look up to you and your wife and will continue to cheer you guys on for making it through, even after the breakup, and ups and downs.
Thank you for checking back to the group and sharing your experiences and motivational words. You gave me hope in knowing I can change the way I think, and that is it possible to live an honest life and still learning how to be happy with my true self.
Blessings!