Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
Hello Everyone,
My name is Eva I'm 24 years old and until recently I would never have admitted this but I am a compulsive liar. I honestly don't know where it stems from, but I can remember that I have always lied in some shape or form. Some where either to benefit me and others were just plain for no apparent reason, I just always had a lie ready. It's gotten so bad that I literally lie even though I know I am going to get caught and even when I get caught I still manage to not say the complete truth.
It's gotten so bad that my best friend of 11 years is now completely on verge of letting our friendship go because she can no longer deal with my lies and is barely even speaking to me. I've lost her support and that hurts because I love her and our friendship and I believed our friendship would last a lifetime but my lies are destroying us. I lie to her about the silliest and stupidest things, she's told me countless of times that she doesn't care and will not judge me for any reason, but just wants me to be honest with her, but I just can't help myself. The minute I open my mouth a lie comes out and at times I am not even aware that I just lied and will say something completely different then what I may have said a minute ago. The worst part is that I have come to believe my lies as the truth and this troubles me so much. I've come to be doubtful that when I recall something that may have happened if it actually occurred the way I remember it or if it isn't just another figment of lies that I have concocted and believe to be the truth.
It's always been so much easier to tell a lie than to tell the truth, I feel more comfortable with a lie than the truth. Whenever I have to actually admit that I lied and tell the truth my heart rate picks up, my hands get cold and I become all around nervous. I've acknowledged it as a form of anxiety but I'm unwilling to blame my lying problem on a psychological disorder because I don't want to have an excuse as to why I lie, I want to work and fix my compulsive lying so I don't ruin future friendship and relationships and continue to live a life filled with lies.
I'm at a loss as to what to do, because I spent so long denying it all even when my best friend would fight with me and say that I was making up stories I would tell her otherwise. Our friendship has been on the rocks because of this, she no longer trusts me and is completely disgusted with me and I can't blame her I would be too, who wants to be around a friend or a loved one who is constantly lying. I just recently found this site and joined in the hopes to make a start into dealing with this problem not only for myself but for the people that I care about because I would really like to earn back the trust of the people I care about. I know that if I can notice it now that many other people have been noticing it for a while now and I can no longer be so hardheaded about this because it's honestly unhealthy.
I know this isn't going to be easy but I know I can do this and with the support of this site and it's members who've been at this for a while, I hope to learn and become a better me. Today marks the beginning of my first day of being honest, thank you
To be Continued>>>>>>
My name is Eva I'm 24 years old and until recently I would never have admitted this but I am a compulsive liar. I honestly don't know where it stems from, but I can remember that I have always lied in some shape or form. Some where either to benefit me and others were just plain for no apparent reason, I just always had a lie ready. It's gotten so bad that I literally lie even though I know I am going to get caught and even when I get caught I still manage to not say the complete truth.
It's gotten so bad that my best friend of 11 years is now completely on verge of letting our friendship go because she can no longer deal with my lies and is barely even speaking to me. I've lost her support and that hurts because I love her and our friendship and I believed our friendship would last a lifetime but my lies are destroying us. I lie to her about the silliest and stupidest things, she's told me countless of times that she doesn't care and will not judge me for any reason, but just wants me to be honest with her, but I just can't help myself. The minute I open my mouth a lie comes out and at times I am not even aware that I just lied and will say something completely different then what I may have said a minute ago. The worst part is that I have come to believe my lies as the truth and this troubles me so much. I've come to be doubtful that when I recall something that may have happened if it actually occurred the way I remember it or if it isn't just another figment of lies that I have concocted and believe to be the truth.
It's always been so much easier to tell a lie than to tell the truth, I feel more comfortable with a lie than the truth. Whenever I have to actually admit that I lied and tell the truth my heart rate picks up, my hands get cold and I become all around nervous. I've acknowledged it as a form of anxiety but I'm unwilling to blame my lying problem on a psychological disorder because I don't want to have an excuse as to why I lie, I want to work and fix my compulsive lying so I don't ruin future friendship and relationships and continue to live a life filled with lies.
I'm at a loss as to what to do, because I spent so long denying it all even when my best friend would fight with me and say that I was making up stories I would tell her otherwise. Our friendship has been on the rocks because of this, she no longer trusts me and is completely disgusted with me and I can't blame her I would be too, who wants to be around a friend or a loved one who is constantly lying. I just recently found this site and joined in the hopes to make a start into dealing with this problem not only for myself but for the people that I care about because I would really like to earn back the trust of the people I care about. I know that if I can notice it now that many other people have been noticing it for a while now and I can no longer be so hardheaded about this because it's honestly unhealthy.
I know this isn't going to be easy but I know I can do this and with the support of this site and it's members who've been at this for a while, I hope to learn and become a better me. Today marks the beginning of my first day of being honest, thank you
To be Continued>>>>>>
Well done on coming on the forum and trying to rid yourself of this horrible disorder. Lying from what I understand is a comfort thing, from what I've been reading in the past week or so, a lot of it is to do with selfishness and egotism. The want and desire to feel good, to feel needed, the need for praise, etc.
We also tend to lie in order to avoid confrontation, or to get in trouble. Again a lot of this stems back to our ego's and the way we perceive ourself. If we are confident with who we are, and are not worried about whether people pick up something we do wrong, or if we don't feel the need to exaggerate a story, or make up something in order to please the other person, then we shouldn't lie.
Sounds simple, but I know it isn't. We have to take it slowly, relax when someone is talking to us, think about what we are saying, and not get too excited, etc. Take it a day at a time and you'll be fine.
When I first posted on here, I was directed to this thread - Changing myself & trying to rebuild a relationship. It was a real eye opener and there were some great links on there too.
Good luck
What you just described is the situation I'm in. This is technically my last chance to continue being in a friendship with my best friend. I've lied so many times, even something so simple or lies that were not needed. I've hurt her a lot and she's told me that I should be honest with her that its ok, but I still lie to her. I have this fear that if I tell the truth it will be worse than actually lying so I continue.
I'm also here to start this journey of telling the truth. It is not easy at all, but I have to try.
I hope everything is ok, and we are all here to support each other.
I've actually admitted to two family members about my compulsive lying and I felt pretty good about that.
Now a days whenever if I actually tell a lie it actually has begun to bother me and I'm burdened with thoughts that I lied over And over again, until I admit to myself that yes I did lie and will try my best to not let it happen again, and that seems to work.
I'm actually going to restart my day counter of being honest because being honest is about being honest and although I had just begun my road to recovery and I am bound to lie here and there, I feel like my day counter of being honest should reflect complete honesty for these days, without the lingering thought that within those days passed I had fibed once or twice.
On a good note I have found it easier to tell the truth and I'm proud of myself for not lying on occasions that my old self would have without a second thought.
In regards to my best friend we aren't in the best of places, we are still friends just not best friends. I've started to accept it because too many things have happened over the course of our 11 years of friendship and although it truly does bother And it hurts me that we have become like this, in a way I have realized that there really nothing much I can do anymore but to continue what I have started. I have acknowledged my flaws as well as the fact that I'm mostly to blame for our friendship be coming this way. I have actively been working on these flaws to the best of my ability and I have & will keep working on myself even if she isn't a major part of my life anymore because ultimately I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and actually like the kind person that I've become.
As of now I am restarting my honest counter so tomorrow will be day number one all over again but it's okay because I know I can do this and I'm happy at the prospects, it truly is invigorating in a way. Apart from that I plan on staying positive and to no longer be so hard on myself. s
So I can come to accept and love myself and the person that I am because as I've said before I am my own worst enemy.
I truly am glad that I did find this group because since then I have been a good kind of different and I like it.
Again thank you guys for all the support it had made a world of difference and I will keep you guys updated on my road to self betterment, have a good one everyone and happy belated new year to you all.
It is great to hear that you have improved and are really taking major steps towards your lying. It is definitely not easy and I totally understand what you mean. I do sometimes make some lies, but in comparison to how it was before its an improvement. I just have to keep at it, just like you have been.
In regards to the friendship, I understand what you mean also. I'm also in the same boat with my best friend. Still taking it day by day with her and when she does question me or gets upset at what I do end up telling her, I do let her know that she did want honesty. That makes me stand my ground even more.
I hope you keep coming on here and updating us on your progress. Happy new year to you and have a great day :)