what happens when u try.. but nobody else wants to see that?

YOU can see that
It is important. Others will notice sooner or later too.
Don't give up!
pablita - You're absolutely right. We lie but there is also something "behind" those lies. We shouldn't concentrate on lying, forgetting about everything else as this leads nowhere. But if we change everything, we can succeed.
Hugs

Very true... I completely agree with Ister that YOU notice is what's important. The most frustrating this I've found about change is keeping consistent, and when other's start to notice that you are consistent, that is when it means something.

I always promised my loved ones that I would "change." Change and stop my lying for maybe a month here, a week there, but then go right back to the same pattern again. How was anyone supposed to believe that I wanted to change or was changing if there was such a short period of time between my episodes?

Now that I am consistent...and believe me, it's taken a good 6-7 months, if not more of consistency, others notice changes about me, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, I feel different. Stopping our lying compulsion is truly not about others, it's about wanting honesty for ourselves. It is the best gift any of us can give ourself, and then to others, but only after us first. Only then can genuine change take place.

Thanks guys... going through this exact situation with a friend that i value...The friend says that change doesn't happen over night... but it hasn't been overnight... its been almost a yr since this began.. but in their eyes they only see my past faults.. even with being consistent it seems as though none of it matters.. I know it should matter to me more then anything else.. i guess.. i just really cherish this person.. but at this point it seems likes like nothing i ever do will be good enough.. so i guess its time to stop...

Thank u so much though.. it was a day full of tears and i guess just not understanding..why people don't think we can be better.. its not like we want to lie.. or do it on purpose.. i guess the frustrating part is.. Ive been nothing but 100% honest with the person and that doesn't matter.. and for some reason i think it never will... I ruined that friendship.. nice to have ppl in similar situations to talk about it with nonetheless..

Yes, this is a very good quote. I had never thought that I would need to make a fundamental change to all aspects of my life. I always took the approach that I just needed to stop lying, and did not consider all the other factors in my life that contributed to this behaviour. With this much broader view of what needs to be change, I have re-newed hope that I can do this. It is frustrating when others say that they don't see any change, even though I know what I have done. The past has painted too vivid of a picture in others minds as to what I am like. I don't know if I can ever change that, but I just focus on changing myself. If I know that I am always telling the truth, I can live with that. My lies have damaged, and even destroyed some relationships beyond recovery. That is one of the consequences and prices I have to live with because I did that to myself. I can apologize for what I have done, but when I have lied repeatedly to the same people for so long, can you blame them for being skeptical of the current me? I need to focus on what I am doing now and the changes I must maintain. It is work, but I feel good within me when I can look back on the past day, and say that it was another day of honesty. It is hard at times, old habits and patterns of behaviour are hard to overcome. But lying is the easy path I do not want to go down again.