Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
Hey there
Read a lot of compelling stories on here and decided to add my voice to it... I am a 49 year old man who has the ability to lie about anything and everything... a financial lie recently has lead me to being kicked out of the house and in very troubled waters with my partner. I know why I do it, because I don't want people to know that I am nothing less than a superhero and able to "do anything" but in fact it is exhausting and I even know it is going to not end well... and this time there is a serious rupture and I can't blame my partner for that.
He finally talked to me a few days after the incident, but he is clearly hurt and rightfully so... I took the first step today and apologized for lying to him. I don't think he expected that. My goal is to keep being honest with him, even when it scares me to do so, and hope that I can heal our wounds.
My question for the group is how many of you are in the same boat? Anyone successfully repair over time the wounds?
DP
I also tried to be superman, but it doesn't work. You are a person, no matter how great you are, you are simply a person. The best advice that I received was that if your partner loves you, you just need to be good enough. That means telling the truth, and they will love you for who you are.
It's easy for me to say that -- I don't practice it--but it sounds like good advice
I wish it didn't, but it all sounds very familiar, so you're not alone in this. It's really hard to understand at times.
I'm trying to work on where my lying stems from with my therapist. I'm hoping that understanding where it all started and why will help me to handle or avoid my behavioural triggers.. So far it seems to be helping but it's early days and somewhat tough going.
At 51 I've been using it as a defence system so long it's ingrained in my response mechanism. At times it feels like my brain has detected a threat and deployed countermeasures before I've had time to process the situation!
I've found reading other peoples posts on here very helpful..There aren't any easy fixes or answers to be found (which I wasn't expecting, but I think my wife was) but at least I don't feel alone in it all and that helps.
I hope you manage to find some answers to help you. Feel free to message if you ever feel it would help. Best wishes. IH