I am sorry Max, I'm in the same position. I've lied to husband on and off our whole marriage, mostly about money but also about things with our children. I dont know why I do it other than I don't want him to be disappointed in me or mad at me. I have been in counseling but hasnt helped mostly because we've had so many other things going on in our lives that have been at the front but I have recently started with a new therapist that I'm going to by myself and I'm hoping that this will make it so I can focus on my issues and get them fixes.

I too have been untruthful to my wife. I kept secrets from her and told incomplete or partial truths. I have learned that no matter how big or small the lie is, it erodes at the foundation of our marriage. I am learning to be 100% truthful in everything I do for if I am not my wife will discover it and further erode the trust factor. Stay vigilant!

I have been in the same position with my wife far too many times. So much so that she has no trust in me anymore. I keep doing and saying the stupidest things. Lying unnecessarily (as if it were ever necessary). The yesterday she had asked me if I had made an important phone call to get money back on an online order that we have not received our merchandise for yet. It is very difficult to get through. I had made calls Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week and the last I had called was the previous Thursday. She asked if I had made the phone call, I said, "yes, I have been calling every day." She asked for me to show her the calls on my phone. I handed it to her and she called me on the fact that I hadn't called every day. Which I hadn't. If it hadn't been for years of lying, she may have accepted that I called every day this week so far, but this is the level of distrust that I have brought into our relationship. I have tried to be honest. The hardest for me is when I feel like I would let her down. Like if she wanted to do something that I didn't really want to do, I would say, yes, we could do that, then later she discovers that I didn't really want to. She has had so much disappointment in her life that I don't want to add to it. I am just so sick and tired of the lies. I catch myself, in my mind, thinking up lies to respond to her with about even the most mundane issues. I catch myself (sometimes) and stop but I don't always. It is disgusting. I am sick of this and more importantly, she is too and wants to end it. I don't want that. I don't know what to do. I am at my wits end...

Wow. I am new to this group. DO1964 - What you said is almost exactly the same situation I am in with me and my wife. It has gone on for our whole relationship and my wife does not trust anything I say and despises me. Recently I disclosed to her some big lies related to my job and our financial situation. I justified in my mind that I was doing things to save her the worry, but there is so much more that goes into it. Part of it is that I initially am not truthful when we spend money and she asks if we can afford something. I do not want to say no, but that is where it starts. Not living in truth. And then it just snowballs from there. I get into credit card debt and then the lies continue. Now I've once again got us into a horrible financial situation that I've had to borrow from 401k to hope to resolve. But if I can't solve the overall lying, it will just happen again.

Hello- my name is Josh, I've got a major problem with lying..been dealing with it for the past 25 years. It has done nothing more than slowly destroy everything. I've lost a job over it, I've lied to my husband multiple times about having virtual sex over the internet, then getting caught, trying to find a way out of it. Promising that it will never happen again..and then a month maybe less it happens again. He has tried to support me and believe me and I ruin it each time. Except this last time (yesterday) I think I finally snapped him and he doesn't want to even look at me or be in the same room with me, and is threatening divorce. I want to salvage the marraige..I want the lying to stop but it's like a demon that has total control and I don't know what to do or how to rebuild the trust if its even possible..I just don't know what to do anymore.