Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
I am new to this site and don't know what to expect. My wife and I both came from very disfunctional families and really had no guidance or positive examples to follow. I have tried to rationalize why I have lied to her and others over the years. I have hated just calling it lies. I have avoided, hidden, minimized and just not been open to the one person I love the most in this world. It was much worse when we were younger, I hid a years long drug addiction and moved our family. This was the big one that over the years if I slip back and do any of the simular behaviors it all comes rushing back. I have done a lot of work on myself with therapy and groups and church but I still cover up my short comings. A lot of this is around money at this point and has to do wuth me minimizing what debt I have taken on. We just had our 40 year aniversery and I bought her a ring $1500 put it on my unused AMEX and was going to pay it off in a couple of pay cycles. Well I lost my job of several years and my cash flow certainly changed. I also had spent about $1000 on Amazon to fix our pool pump and rv. When she asked how much CC debt I said a couple thousand but I wasn't exactly sure I would tell her tommorow. Well I did that next day and it was at $2600. So I had minimized and lied to her. I have since paid off all my debt. Now she won't wear the ring and is talking about separating. I am just sick. I had been working so hard for so long to prove I can be trusted and in three or four words I have change everything. What do you all think? How do I move forward?
I am still in a similar predicament as you wrt minimizing. Remember that any time frame to rebuild trust is 100% in her court. I’ve started rebuilding trust just to trash my progress in a single moment by minimizing, and alienating my wife. I start again because she is everything to me, despite what my habits show. I have work to do to really see my flaws so I can fix my underlying problems. I hope it goes well for you there.