What does it mean to be truly transparent? My sister, who is also a licensed clinical social worker and grief counsellor had been encouraging me to be not only honest with my wife but transparent. In my past, I would cheat on every woman I was with and usually I would create specific email addresses for specific women or searches for people interested in "hooking up." I had several. And my wife knows about them. Not because I told her, but because she found traces of them on my lap tops and my phone after she found out I was cheating and began scouring my devices. It has been years since I used any of them but they're there and she doesn't know that. And she doesn't believe me when I tell her that's the case and I don't blame her. I don't even remember the passwords for the accounts, it's been so long. But I have a habit of using one of a small handful of passwords for everything so I give her those. If they don't work, I help her answer the security questions to regain access to them. Does it scare me what she will find in them? A little, I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But it MUST BE DONE. I know I hurt used the email addresses since she initially found out I was cheating on her and I think that's her main concern. I've told her what or who the email addresses were for, some of them are pretty obvious because of their names. I'm not being dishonest by telling her I don't remember the passwords but I'm trying to be transparent by helping and wanting her to see through me. I need to be a mirror for myself and a window for my wife. Because I love her. God give me strength to stay honest and faithful, hiding nothing from her...or myself. It has been 3 days since I have lied to her.