Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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Marriage lies

liesforgain
liesforgain

I've been lying to my wife since we started dating. Withholding important information, lying about future plans, food purchases, family, etc. From small lies to big lies. Most lies are to hide from the truth of who I am or for some sort of personal gain. I when she confronts me with something negative about myself and I lie to gain some kind of incentive. Any ideas on how to stop lying. I don't feel like the excessive lying is directed towards anyone else just her. Please help. 

tomthumbblues
tomthumbblues
It sounds like you might be motivated by lying because of a self-worth issue. This could be from emotional abuse or trauma. It might be helpful to work with a therapist if either of these factors are part of your history. I’ve worked with my therapist to work through childhood trauma and it has helped for me to begin reconciling my lies.
Sometimes when confronted it’s best to speak about how you’re feeling before responding. Such as telling your spouse I’m feeling nervous about talking about this or I feel intimated and this can help deescalate the confrontation...which may make you feel safe to speak the truth. Or you can say I feel unsafe about talking about this.