I completely understand what you are going through. I started lying to protect myself and my parents when something bad was happening in my life. From there, it completely escalated as well, until lying was as easy as breathing - I didn't even have to think about it. Only this year have my lies really screwed up my life. My parents have lost all of their trust in me and we kept going in circles - me promising to change, and them giving me a chance, and us going back to the same position again.

I am on my absolutely last chance with them, and they have said if I do not get my act together, then I will be disowned. I don't want that. They have done so much for me and I absolutely love my family.

I started reading this book "Gratitude and Trust" by Paul Williams and Tracey Jackson. I also have signed up for a workshop called "Inner Engineering, by Isha Yoga". I have heard many wonderful things about it. Honestly, my next step is to go to a holistic rehab centre - potentially the Deepak Chopra Wellness and Treatment Centre in BC, Canada.

If you are willing to change, you need to start now. Not tomorrow, right now. I've been reading a lot about rehabs and therapy in general, and I feel that would definitely help me. I hope what I've told yo u will be able to help you too.

I completely understand what you are going through. I started lying to protect myself and my parents when something bad was happening in my life. From there, it completely escalated as well, until lying was as easy as breathing - I didn't even have to think about it. Only this year have my lies really screwed up my life. My parents have lost all of their trust in me and we kept going in circles - me promising to change, and them giving me a chance, and us going back to the same position again.

I am on my absolutely last chance with them, and they have said if I do not get my act together, then I will be disowned. I don't want that. They have done so much for me and I absolutely love my family.

I started reading this book "Gratitude and Trust" by Paul Williams and Tracey Jackson. I also have signed up for a workshop called "Inner Engineering, by Isha Yoga". I have heard many wonderful things about it. Honestly, my next step is to go to a holistic rehab centre - potentially the Deepak Chopra Wellness and Treatment Centre in BC, Canada.

If you are willing to change, you need to start now. Not tomorrow, right now. I've been reading a lot about rehabs and therapy in general, and I feel that would definitely help me. I hope what I've told yo u will be able to help you too.

I truly appreciate your feedback and honesty with me. It's extremely hard and hurts realizing you are on your last chance. Like you said, it's been a cycle of apologizing saying i'll change and taking one step forward then 50 steps back. It sucks because I don't want to consider myself a bad person, but what I'm doing to my wife and in general is bad. I've signed up for therapy to overcome this and hopefully that will help along with the many articles that I've been reading. I will definitely look into the book you recommended. Also, I believe that you will be able to overcome your problem as well and make things right with your family.

Hi Jcutt28,

Welcome. You are not alone in this issue and I understand the cycle that you are experiencing, I have been there before myself and it isn't fun at all. I think the biggest thing that I suggest (if you haven't already) is, have a sit down with your wife and talk about your lying problem. And be totally honest about the things you have lied about in the past and what you are currently lying about now. Understand that she may be very hurt and is cautious to trust you right now. Have empathy for her feelings because it isn't easy, but clearly, she still loves you and is still by your side.

Secondly, like the person that suggested you read a book on Gratitude and Trust, in addition to that, look up and educate yourself on how to be vulnerable with yourself, being authentic internally, how to love yourself and to be confident in your ways, and changing your brain and muscle memory. Learn and develop different exercises on how to change the way you think and react to things (I'm working on this right now). If you are religious pray for yourself and your challenges and to keep going.

Lastly, you mentioned that when you do try, to tell the truth, you end up saying a lie and it is like second nature to you. When that happens, correct yourself right then and there. It may be awkward but at least you are addressing that you made a false statement and you are correcting it. This applies to any conversation. Also, for 30 days try to not lie to anyone, including strangers, family, co-workers, etc. Make an effort and hold yourself accountable.

Talk to your wife, share with her what you are going through internally, if you can't talk to her about it comfortably (yet), then consult a friend or family member that knows your lying issue. Have them push you and challenge you, to be honest, and that you give it your all.

I know it is easier said than done, but everything I suggested to you, I do it in my own life. Keep the faith and you will get better.

Welcome Jcutt! Remember this has nothing to do with being a good person or bad person. It's about accepting yourself just the way you are with no pretenses! Lying is a defense mechanism for you to protect you from your fears. Fear of rejection, judgement, abandonment, not being perfect, not being liked, not being in control, .... I suspect there is a tiny twinge inside when you tell a lie. Cultivate that feeling. Listen to that internal voice. Believe it or not you will still be alive when you tell the truth despite your anxiety of others reactions!!! Lying has become muscle memory for you. It avoids conflict in the short term. Get vulnerable! Because you have lied for so long stopping won't happen overnight. Naomi is correct. When you lie stop. Recant the lie with the truth. Take this one day at a time. Concentrate on today only. But do this every day. Post every day to keep yourself grounded. Once you start down this path there is no turning back!!!!

Naomii and mikeyrg,
Thank you two for your insight! Today was my first day in therapy and it felt good being completely open and telling them about me and my lies. I have posted several biblical things around my house that remind me of why I shouldn't lie so hopefully that will keep me grounded. Today I was able to recant a lie I told my wife (about the details of me walking the dog) while she didn't see it as a big deal, I felt great because it felt like I was going to explode if I didn't tell the truth. I look forward to this journey!