Hello All, I'm a pathological liar and I don't know what I am doing. I've been lying for such a long time that sometimes I even forget if what I said happened or haven't happened. I've honestly assumed that none of anything I say really has any truth anymore. I've lied to my parents, whom I live with, about where I am, who I am with, and what I'm doing. I'm really not sure why I even do it at this point. I don't understand why I would lie about any of that stuff to begin with.

It all started when I was a child and the oldest lie I told or what I could was when I took a toy from a local child and told my mom that I must've packed it into my bag by accident. I honestly didn't even want that toy to begin with but I lied about how I got the toy. My mother definitely knew I lied and asked my why I lied about it being an accident. I never got her the answer and still don't know what to say.

I always think to myself why I lie and how difficult it is to keep up with all these lies and don't slip up. That mental stress is overwhelming and tiresome but I've been doing it so long I'm starting to believe some of the lies myself. These lies could be anything big like what I've done to small things like what I ate the previous day. 

I've recently lied about something rather major that I don't think I can take back. I've know my best friend for a long time. I've known him since we were in HS and we clicked almost immediately. He was always understanding and noble, unlike me. I was always conniving and slimy because I lied so much. Truth be told, out of all the significant people in my life, I can truthfully say I've lied to him the least. He recently broke up with his girlfriend whom I did find attractive. After a couple of weeks his girlfriend contacts me through one our mutual friends which launches this whole communication between her and I. I know I should've spoken to my best friend about this, but instead, I kept it quiet which is definitely a sign of weakness, as I see it now. I lied to him about what I spoke to her about. I should've never kept it from him and I just don't know why I even did this. It crossed my mind to tell him about this, but maybe I was cowardly. I continue speaking with her and even eventually meeting up with her. I was extremely uncomfortable doing and this just makes it so much worse because I actually decided to meet up.

Of course, my best friend finds out because you just can't cover a lie like this. It'll definitely be revealed at some point and now that it has, I don't even know what to do but to apologize. I am pretty sure I've lost my best friend and I feel that I've committed a crime. I just don't understand how I could do something like this even to someone as important to me as my best friend.