I am so so so sorry! We try not to ever leave anybody unreplied to, but obviously it does happen sometimes. You are at the right place. Many of the things you describe about yourself relate to me and others. It is fixable and you're taking some good steps. I think one of the important things is that you make a plan to become the person you want to be, with certain things to do that will help you get to your goal, and also remember the awfulness that lying has done to your life and to your loved ones. Make a plan and stick to it. It's a hard thing and will take some time but it is fixable.

Thanks for responding. I'm trying hard and have been "sober from lying " for 20 days...do I need to go back in time and revisit and confess every lie or exaggeration I've ever told?

I think, as a spouse of a compulsive liar, that asking forgiveness for each lie, rather than a blanketed apology, wold be a good first step. Then start holding yourself accountable and try not to get defensive when you start telling the truth and your partner doesn’t believe you the first, second, or hundredth time. Accepting accountability and accepting that it will be a struggle for a while will go a long way in rebuilding trust. My husband gets frustrated that when he is telling me the truth for two weeks and one time I don't believe him, he gets exasperated and mouthy, with an 'oh well, you will never believe me now anyway' attitude and that crumbles the trust he has started to build, because I see he is so easily swayed back into convincing himself of the same unhealthy behavior. It stops all progress. It makes us go backwards, not forwards.

Also, it's going to be important to learn to forgive yourself and love yourself. I don't know how many times I've told my husband this, and I think it's what holds him back in making real change. It will be almost impossible for you to be the best version of yourself if you can't do this. If you can't love yourself, you will not be able to love your partner the right way. If you can't forgive yourself, it will be impossible for you to not repeat the same mistakes when pressure and stress are applied to the situation. How is your partner to forgive you if you can't forgive you? That self hate will fuel self destruction. I am speaking from the other side of this type of a relationship. I hope you can hear it, since my spouse can't or won't. And what eventually happens is that which we try to deny or suppress ends up getting projected onto another. So it ends up manifesting itself in the destruction of your relationship.

And yes, it is definitely fixable