KG! Hi!! Great post! I want to chime in too! Lot of newbies on site. I too have walked this path! And despite the fact that it's been over a year since I joined this site I find that it takes daily commitment. So I continue to check in often to keep me grounded.

Like so many others my journey started when my significant other had enough. I had never cheated on her but lied about what I perceived as shame issues. Fear of being judged for behaviors that I thought questionable. Like if I talked with my ex I would deny it. Looking at porn. Stupid stuff. None of the behaviors were deemed aberrent by my partner but the lies were deemed intolerable and of course brought into doubt any thing else that I would say. Sound familiar? 

Every relationship is built on foundations of trust, honesty faith and mutual support. When the foundation is weak the relationship tumbles. It seems that the human condition takes a crisis to catalyze growth and change. This is what my journey has made me realize. 

First, lying doesn't mean you are a bad person. It is a bad behavior. I lied as a learned response as a child to try and appear perfect to get my mom's approval I think. Then it became muscle memory as a defense mechanism to me. I am not even sure I recognized the pattern. Second, changing a behavior pattern takes more than recognition of the behavior. 

My journey included doing a 12 step program, deep daily introspection/journaling  and reading everything I could get my hands on to grow. Two people were incredibly influential on me. Bryne Brown and Wayne Dyer. 

There is a science called neuroplasticity. You can change how your brain reacts to situations. It takes consistent "exercise" to accomplish but can occur at any age. I think this is what KG is referring to when he posted It Is Possible!!! I did not stop lying on the day I knew I had to change. But I started to recognize my lies and correct them. When I was late to work instead of making up the imagined traffic disaster I owned up to my negligence. I stopped behaviors I didn't want to admit to. I woke every day and stated my intention to be my authentic self out loud. (Still do). I have learned to open up with my thoughts and feelings even when they are going to cause controversy rather than stuff them. Whew! That was a tough one!!! 

My partner broke up with me. I got serious about growing up. With the daily work change was recognized and not only are we back together but getting married next month. This work has to be done for yourself. You feel more complete and solid and real for loosing the insecurities that cause you to lie. I found that once I recognized my problem and started the work I never wanted to go backwards because it hurt me to be that person. 

The very fact that one comes to this site is proof that change is desired. Involve your partner with your thoughts, issues, and fears. Hold empathy for their hurt and know it takes time trust to be reaffirmed. KNOW that indeed it is possible. I give gratitude every single day for my journey!! Good luck all and please please please be kind to yourself. I no longer want to lie because I have fallen in love with the truth!