Greydog, I think I understand how you feel. The insignificant lie is not the point - the point is that it was a lie. My marriage is in the same state as yours; the difference is that we have not been seeing a marriage counsellor (because on the one occasion that we did, I lied, and my husband would not consider going again - understandably) and we are living under the same roof - he has come very close to moving out before but now says we can be "friends" and have a platonic relationship. My husband cannot believe a word I say either, because I've cried wolf so many times.

Perhaps it would help if you try to find the reason why you lied. Is it because you did something that you didn't want your wife to find out about? Did you cheat on her? Or were you ashamed about something in your past and didn't want her to think badly of you? Did you want her to see you as a better person and so did you try to cover up bad stuff that you didn't want her to know about? Whatever the reason, if you love your wife enough to want to fight for her, I am sure you didn't intend to hurt her, even if that was the outcome.

Don't give up. Perhaps a separation will help you both to put things into perspective, but I would not think it is the end of the road. If you love your wife, it might help you both to have some time apart to cool down and think things over. I know that it can be very difficult to come out with some truths that you might think would hurt or upset your spouse, especially so when you are with them and it's even more difficult to do it when things feel good between you - you crave the intimacy and you don't want to lose it. Separation might seem like the end, but it might give you both a bit of space to find out what you really want from each other (I am sure your wife just wants you to be honest) and to gain a little strength yourself, which you are going to need if you are prepared to be completely honest with her.

Hi There, I wanted to share with you my struggle as it has to do with a fight me and my wife had today and how lying is making my life so difficult. Here's a little about my struggle:

My lying stemmed from childhood when I was age 10. I thought that if I made stuff up, I would get away from it. 20 years later, I have lied about little things, but I didn't think they were big at the time. I have a great wife named (T, whose identity I will protect) and she loves me very much. For the last month, I've been lying to her about overspending money and making assumptions and over all, just lying and afraid to tell the truth. We had a discussion about this and I felt so weak when I couldn't answer her questions properly. I felt scared, and was afraid of what would happen if the truth had been known.

That was my thinking as a child, that if I told the truth, bad things would happen. Although, when I did tell the truth, nothing bad happened at all. When I did tell the truth, the exact opposite happened. Nothing. Since the discussion, I'm making an effort to stop lying once and for all and be firm in my conversations.

Thank you

I hear what you're all saying. I am in the same boat right now. I didn't tell the truth today when she asked me about a 8.00 charge on my credit card for an in-app purchase on mobile strike. I said that I last used my credit card to purchase gas last week. I lied without even realizing.

Before this I had not lied for weeks and weeks. My wife also no longer trusts me due to all the lies I have told in the past, some major, some minor. I have worked very hard to not lie by taking a breath before answering but this one slipped right by me.

Like you Domingo my lies began when I was young in the form of minor exagerations. It has since then become much worse.

I need to start over at 0 once again.

This time will be the final 1st day.