Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

1,668 Members

2,158 Posts

0 Online

crossbonescat 11/19/2018

I hope I'm not going against etiquette by posting like this. If I am, let me know. My name's Ellie, and I pretty much lie without even giving a second thought to it. My fiance asked, at the beginning of our relationship four years ago, that I not do ONE SIMPLE THING -- so I did it anyway, and then lied about it for a long time. We've been talking about it, fighting about it, and crying about it for three days now. And in this time I've come to realize I've been doing this since I was little. The pain I have caused is huge. I want to stop. I have SOME idea how to start ... but I wonder, has anyone managed to conquer this, at least a little? And if so, any tips?

lcmd 11/20/2018

Hi Ellie,
I just joined this group as well. I tend to lie to protect others from feeling bad, etc...
one thing that is helping me tremendously is the practice of Mindfulness. Taking the time to acknowledge and work through the feelings that are bringing us to tell another lie helps me understand the emotions at that moment, and correct my response towards being truthful and giving your partner or friend the privilege of an opportunity to understand or deal with the bad news, etc in a way that may have negative consequences, but is much more normal. And always better than the consequences of finding out that I was not honest.

Rock.bottom 11/20/2018

I myself have been using the 12 steps of AA/NA to help.
It helps me keep in mind all the damage my lies have done in the past. It also helps me correct myself and apologize for hurting the ones I love. In AA/NA they use sponsors to keep each other honest and working the program. This is the one area i have found most difficult. I have been calling it an accountability partner here. Someone that I can message daily if needed and talk to and keep each other honest and working towards getting better. Unfortunately I have not found anyone that I can message on a regular basis yet, but am still hopeful.
If you find this method might be helpful to you and would like to consider being accountability partners feel free to message me.

gwilly 05/25/2019

I really is an awful thing we cause for ourselves and our loved ones. It is doable, but does take a lot of work, and takes long time to rebuild the trust that is destroyed when we lie. I think the most important key is to work together on it with your fiance, so you are both involved, and he can see where you are at. That will help you to know what to do, and help rebuild the trust.

nhutch84 05/27/2019

I am part of a NA group. 12 steps help. I also think about things before I speak, like playing devils advocate.

gwilly 05/29/2019

It is really a good practice. When I was young, I stuttered and had to learn to slow down my speech and think about what I wanted to say so I didn't stutter. As an older man, trying to get over lying, I too have employed this practice, to slow down, study my words before they leave my mouth, so I can be sure what does come out is the truth.

Join the Conversation