Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

1,668 Members
2,158 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Liars Anonymous Support Group

In the bottom of a hole

sadMess
sadMess

Hi, I'm not sure someone will read this or give advice but here goes; I lie. Alot. Going back as far as I can remeber I have lied. Small lies, big lies, lies that hurt people, lies that hurt myself, lies to myself, all just one huge lie. Usually when people in my life find out I've lied it gets ugly, I can't even describe the loathing and anger thrown around the room at me. Often at times self directed. Tonight was no diffrent... untill I found this website. I don't know if typing out my issues and lies will help but hey, What else do I have to Lose.

DrBerke
DrBerke
I understand. It is demoralizing, isn't it? And destructive to one's self as well as the people around us. What steps have you tried?
Jtea
Jtea
I've lied a lot in my life, too. One of the biggest problems for me is that I have a hard time understanding how deeply my lies have ruined the most important relationship in my life. I haven't come to terms with the destruction I've caused. It seems like you do understand when you talk about self loathing. I think bring ready to accept that you have to change and being honest with your lies is the first, biggest step. I can't find it now, but I read a quote yesterday that said something like once you make the decision to change, the universe opens up for you. As much as I've lied to my wife, she loves me. She wants what's best for me and for our relationship. When I show that I'm trying to do better, the love and support are there. I don't know the people in your life, of course. But I imagine they at least partially get so upset because of how much they care for you. Show them your willingness to change, your effort to do so. Be sincere! Don't do it for them, but for you. They might surprise you and be there for you. I wish you the best. I wish I had a magic solution, but I don't.
jk1228
jk1228
@ All -

I have been a liar since I was a child, I dont have the true reason as to why it actually started..to make myself look better? Get more friends? I can't say - but what I can say is that it has spiraled out of control over the past 30 years, I am estranged from my family because of it, I have lost jobs because of it, and it may be costing me my marriage - We have been together for 8 years..he has put up with my lies and deceit but a few weeks ago I lied again and it may have been the straw that broke the camels back. He has threatened divorce and more.

It was at that point that I knew I had to do something - because if I lose him I lose everything. I have started praying every night, I look at myself in the mirror every morning and ask myself "if I tell a lie today who does it hurt? What will it cause?"

Admitting that you have this problem to yourself and outloud is the first and biggest step to beating this horrible addiction. This is a day by day process. Stay strong and feel free to send a private message! Remember you are not alone!