Unfortunately we can only control our own truths and lies and as much as I've tried to manipulate others, I can't create trust out of a vaccuum. We all relapsed. I know I do. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you!

I could have written your post. I also lie about silly little things and things here and there that don't normally have an affect but he's seen through those few fibs and doesn't know where it begins and ends. Assumes now that anything I say may be a lie. He once let me use his computer to fill an application online. And thought I'd took the opportunity to read his emails. When I did not. I could never. I may be dishonest but never in that way. But since then he's asked little things here and there about why his phone is in a different place then he left and such (moved to clean up his laundry left underneath the phone)
And he now looks at me with weary eyes and like I'm sooo low. It breaks my heart and I hate it so bad.
Not only that... I went into the shower and made very sure to note the position of my phone by the wall near where he sat. i came out and it was moved. He looked like he was trying to look occupied in something else to cover that he was looking through my phone.
...He thought I did it to him so he could do it to me. It is my fault only. I broke our relationship.Since I lied about some things, in his eyes i lie about everything.
He felt I didn't respect him and his privacy enough. Now returns that to me. I am too low and don't deserve that respect.
I'm working to fix what I broke. Because I lie about a few things, to him I lie about everything. I'm working to eliminate every bit of doubt. to be the kind of person he wouldn't believe is that way.

I'm replying to every post I thought I was the only one with this problem. I lie about stupid things. I lie to avoid conflict and to avoid people or I lie to make people think my life is great. I have lied so much and now everything is out. Now i want to stop but all i want to do is hide. I want to stay away so I wont be ashamed anymore. I hate this feeling. I dont want to feel this way anymore.

Rose14,

You could have written my profile. Conflict avoidance and making my life seem better than it is. Its a terrible feeling and one that I have worked on and off on for years. I saw "off" as I often catch myself in a lie and have to correct myself. Its not easy to re-gain the trust of someone you have lied to and for that matter, you may never to everyone else on this exchange. Its seams trivial, but its also why I share documentation in order for her to see I am doing what I say I am doing.

thank you so much for sharing that. i am new to this forum, but i have been a part of the liars club for a long long time. i am 'cash register honest', but i learned to live in denial about things, they were so bad, and then the lying began, mostly to myself. i don't know why your husband took a shot at you when you began to be honest, the truth is, they forget we are sick sick people and we need support to tell the truth, and that maybe if they backed down and gave us the chance, we would come forward and be honest.
i really hope that you get back on the beam with honesty, as i hope to too. isn't that what this forum is all about?

I have always wanted to find a way to stop lying and to force other people to trust me. You would think it is counter intuitive to make up lies so that people would trust you more ... is that manipulation or stupidity? I'm sorry about your relationship with your husband. If you want to, you can check in daily with me to make sure that we both keep on track with telling the truth.