Hello all,

i have a lying problem that started after a relationship where I started to lie to avoid conflict or defend against false or real accusations. This started me on a cascade of lying to everyone as I found it convenient to feel safe. I’ve since been in a relationship where I’ve lied about the littlest things to break trust with my partner.

The latest lie I lied about not receiving her Valentines card even though I did. I felt guilty about not getting her anything because our relationship status was unclear. I initially wanted to thank her for the card but then guilt over took me and I began trying reciprocate her gift. When I spoke to her on the phone, I pretended I didn’t get the card to talk about the card with her. Long story short she asked if I was lying and I said no...and tried to bury the lie.

Then we decided to talk about my previous lies as a way to create trust in the relationship. I decided to come true about my lie about the Valentines Day card and she is now angry with me and has created a healthy distance from me keeping communication to a minimum. She’s supportive in me telling the truth, but is hurt and questioning if she should have any relationship with me.

I’ve since created a list of all the lies I’ve told known or unknown and will give it to her to read as a way to help rebuild trust between us. This is difficult for me to do. It hurts to do this, but I know it’s the right thing to do.

Any advice or support would be appreciated.