I've been with my wife for 4 years and married for 2 of them. I started the relationship telling her lies that I thought made me sound better than I was. I convinced her I was someone I wasn't. She found out after a few months that I was lying to her and I fought her about them. A year into our relationship she found out I was still talking with another woman for the first 4 months of our relationship. I denied what kind of relationship it was and how I felt. After months of arguing I finally admitted to talking with her and still having feelings toward her. A year into our marriage my wife said i had to come clean of all my secrets to properly heal and become an honest person or she was going to leave me. I told her a lot of my secret but held on to some. Into the second year of our relationship she tells me again that i need to come clean of all my lies and secrets. Again I made a list of things i lied about but omitted some. 5 months have gone by since then and I've continued to lie. I delete messages and emails and don't tell her about them because I'm afraid she'll be angry another female contacted me. I know my wife wouldn't be mad about the person contacting me. It's me deleting the message and not telling her that makes her mad and hurts her. All my lies have been made out of fear. But the thing i fear is cause by me lying. I was going to therapy for a while to help with my lies but I didn't tell my therapist everything and now my wife doesn't trust me to go there anymore. My wife hates me now. She wants to drop out of school. I hate what I've done. She has given me countless chances and I've thrown them all away. I hate seeing her hurt and sad. How do i go to her and open up? How do i tell her of new lies if/when they happen? How do i stop making the same mistake? Someone please help us.