Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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tommy1980 09/07/2017

Firstly Hi, I'm Tom and I am a compulsive liar. For as far back as i can remember, i have used lying as my coping mechanism. I forget how many times I have lied to myself and said I want to change and pretend too.

This time it is different, no more burying my head in the sand and hoping if i say it enough, it will just happen. To be honest, I dont have a clue where to start or how to start. My life is up in the air at present, my marriage is on a knifes edge and I am at real risk of losing my fantastic wife and family. I am in the process of possibly losing my job and career because of stupid behaviour and lies. Over the last few months I have been getting help with a counsellor but to be honest, I have not put enough thought or work into it and am now at a stage where i really dont want this addiction to rule my life anymore. it is so hard to get anyone who does not have this addiction to understand it.

A lot of the online help seems a little wishy washy. Has anyone been through this and come out the other side? and how? I love my wife and family and cannot keep lying to them. i am destroying myself and them.

Anyone with any help or advice?

Thanks

gwilly 09/07/2017

Welcome to the group, Tommy. Hope you can find some help here. We are all in the boat with you, just some maybe further along. I have been at it for 30+ years, and I think we have to look at the "coming out the other side" just like people with a chem or alcohol addiction do, that once we get on a better path, we have to maintain a regimen of doing certain things to stay on that path, and stay completely away from lying or deception in any form, or we will fall back into the same slippery slope. Several of us have come up with daily plans that help to remind us of the problems we have caused ourselves and our loved ones, and that keep us away from the things that we are week about and tend to be tempted to lie about. A simplified version of my daily plan is;
-pray morning and night
-exercise every day
-read and comment this blog every day
-go over the money with my wife every day

These things have helped me. Many others have plans of their own. Look thru some of the replies and you can get ideas of things that might help you. Good luck.

tankee 09/07/2017

Brother yes!!!! I've been to the other side and it's nothing that u want to go through, take it one day at a time and be honest with yourself. But sometimes you have to lose it all bro to realize that a change has to be made

tommy1980 09/07/2017

Thanks to you both for your comments. I think I have probably lost everything now anyway.
I know I can change and know I want to but I just have no idea where to start.
I have trouble just telling my wife about my day or about stuff a normal person would disclose.

tommy1980 09/07/2017

Can people give me ideas from plans that work for them and I can hopefully find something I can get to work for me.

gwilly 09/17/2017

Well for starters I think you need to humble yourself right down to your toes, and face up to your wife or partner every lie that you have ever told. This puts you at Ground Zero and makes it so you can work whatever plan you have decided on without any fear of something popping out of the woodwork to derail you and cause you more problems.

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