Hi Alister404, I’m new to the group and ready to talk. This end part of the post is what caught my intention. How are you feeling? I think posting shows bravery not being a coward. I’ve been reading the posts here and the one thing that stands out is making a commitment to yourself to change.

I'm glad you're here with us, Alister. Deciding against self-harm isn't cowardice. Admitting your problem and working on it takes courage. I'm new to this group and new to committing to changing my life so I know longer lie to avoid conflict (makes conflict worse when I do) or to not be "in trouble" (the trouble is invariably worse when I lie ... the original trouble+the lie and the damage that does to the relationships around me). I find always talking about what's going on, especially financially, has helped me so far, though I haven't had a compelling reason to lie since I started trying to change in earnest. I don't have a panacea for you, but I admire you're courage in posting here. You can do this.

I’m glad I found this site as I’m on my journey to stop lying. I also have lied to family and it has broken us all. I’m here to take steps to bettering myself and I’m not ashamed anymore.

There are so many people out there that have terminal illness that would give anything to continue to live their lives. You cannot even begin to think about suicide. Life is precious and I’m sure your family loves you. You need to open up in the way you feel most comfortable whether it’s on a website like this or with a professional counselor. But remember you only have one life to live and one life to give to others. Never feel so badly that you would throw that away. You’d be cheating yourself and those that love you.