Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

1,668 Members

2,158 Posts

0 Online

flubie 04/24/2018

Hi all,

So great to be joining a supportive network of people.

I was responding to this post by Deedoe but it disappeared all of a sudden, not sure what happened.

Anyways, I’m a compulsive liar and I’ve only started really working on it since the beginning of this year after my girlfriend pointed out my pattern of lies to me a number of times.

I lie about my past relationship, sexual encounters, friends, job, what I’m doing, what I’m thinking/feeling, and anything else seemingly silly to control the way I am viewed, to inflate my image, control others’ feelings and reactions, hide from uncomfortable situations or reactions, to avoid fear/shame, to paint a false image of myself really.

Needless to say, my efforts so far have not been sustainable or enough. I’m starting fresh today as “Day 1” of my being honesty and treating my compulsion like an addiction, because it’s serious and failing to be honest means I’m back at square one as Day 1.

I’ll be working continuously both win a therapist (looking for a third one to start fresh with) and by myself and checking into see how others are doing and to reflect on myself.

I’ll also be writing down what to say to my therapist before my sessions so that I don’t distort my stories in anyway. She’ll be reviewing them to make sure they’re accurate.

Thanks,

Flubie

cb1971 04/24/2018

Flubie, Congratulations on day one this is my day three. I'm new as well and want to offer some encouragment to your life without lies. You gave me hope with your words of dedication and plan to recover. Must don't understand that lying is a disease that's turned into an addiction. Let's keep each other and others up lifted

sharkbait 04/24/2018

Flubie we are all here for you through your struggles. Congratulations on day one. It takes a lot to go through just one day, I understand. It took me 3 years to realize I was a cumpulsive liar. And I am supposed to be on day 20 of not lying but I told a lie yesterday. I am also starting back at day one and I’m right here with you. Keep your head high. You will get through this.

doughhater 04/25/2018

It's sobering to see things like this:

seemingly silly to control the way I am viewed, to inflate my image, control others’ feelings and reactions, hide from uncomfortable situations or reactions, to avoid fear/shame, to paint a false image of myself really.

and realize just how strongly they correlate with my own behavior. I guess I'm on day 1 now myself. It's gotten to the point where I lie without even knowing it now. Literally caught myself a day after a conversation happened where I told some stupid lie and had no recollection of why I did it.

Flaco 04/25/2018

Thanks, Flubie. I resonate with much of what you say about your lying. ANd I agree, treating it like an addiction that requires a support network, daily check-ins and really hard work feels necessary. I've been doing the hard work, but not consistently enough - when I'm feeling good and things are going well in my life, I tend to ease back. And that often leads to unconscious lying. I commend your first step, and admit that I took inspiration from it.

flubie 04/25/2018

Thanks for all your encouraging words guys. Really excited to be joining a supportive group like this. Looking forward to sharing my thoughts.
Any books or resources that you guys have found useful? What types of therapy are people using with their therapists? I’m working on this book called How to Stop Lying, and looking at therapists that use CBT or DBT. I have to say it’s hard to find therapists that specialize in treating compulsive lying because it’s not a personality disorder. Any thoughts guys?

Join the Conversation