Part of my Aspie is I have a hard time confronting people with tough situations. My anxiety on top of that does not help. I have lied in the past to avoid conflict, to make people like me more, or so that my family will not be ashamed of me.

Myself - my ex is a sociopath, bi-polar, and borderline personality disorder which refuses to seek help of any kind. I truly believe that she is not capable of love, to even her own kids. It hurts!

In your situation, not knowing much about her - maybe she feels very betrayed by what you have lied about. People all the time say 'I love you no matter what', but more times than not we learn that phrase is not entirely true.

Has she acted irrational in the past?

Hi: There. I too lie because of fear and anxiety. I lie to make myself look more interesting, fear that people won't like me for who I am and ultimately as a way to control things. I lie to avoid conflict. Honesty is the only answer and from my experience your wife is correct. I too have struggled with self esteem issues and that has caused me to lie over the years. I totally get what you are dealing with. For me my recovery journey includes 4 things journaling, meditation, daily check-ins with another 12step group I belong too and seeing a therapist twice/month. All this is designed for me to find awareness, acceptance and ultimately move to action and a healthier way of living. For me not being able to become aware and find acceptance (self acceptance for who I am) I could never move to action. Hope all this helps

I have lied for all of this exact same reasons. In fact little lies, little exaggeration here or there to avoid hurting someone's feelings, or make myself look better those are the lies I tell most often. I am also guilty of lying by omission.
Yes she has acted irrational in the past. I believe and so does her family that she is at a minimum bi-polar; she was diagnosed bi-polar years ago but didn't believe it herself and stopped the medications for it.
She does say she feels very betrayed by the lies; she also says I destroyed her soul; her actual being as a person. She blames me for everything and to some extent I am 100% to blame on some things but not on everything as she wants me to believe.
We tried couples therapy, 3 visits before she decided and the therapist agreed she was done and she gave me the divorce papers she has drawn up.
She says she can't trust me because she doesn't know when the next lie is going to come out of the past and rip the carpet out from underneath her. At the suggestion of the counselor I had previously written her a list of all the lies, the ones I can remember at least, I told her in the last 6 years to get them all out on the table and start fresh; by the next visit she was done.

i'm sorry about the divorce and the papers.

my new therapist says talk about your feelings and map out the :

phsycial symtpoms

emotions you are feelings

your thinking........


anyways, I got what you are talking about too, with the same I gave you a chance already argument.

i'm not allowed to put quotes on anything anymore, I overused that privg.

coupes are not meant to be in this world. we should all give up and go backto living in communes like they did in the 60s.