Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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DO I have a personality Disorder?

KBneedshelp
KBneedshelp

Hello,


I have just joined.   I am a 45 year old man that has lied for most of his life.  I find lying is easier that dealing with mistakes or consequences.   I also lie to my wife about stuff that seems unimportant, as well as important things like other women.   I had contact with an ex gf that i haven’t seen in years and i kept it a secret because i knew she would not approve.  Part of me thought i wanted t feel that i could speak with someone that wouldn’t judge me or yell at me.  I know it was wrong as I love my wife more than anything.  I don’t understand hy i keep doing tis destructive behavior.  I just so badly want to live a happy in love life....



Do i have a personality disorder ... how do i get help...i don’t want to loose my wife and family.


gwilly
gwilly
I think you can call it what you like. The professionals like to come up with names for everything, but ultimately I believe it boils down to what our particular personalities strengths or weaknesses are, then figure out how to battle them one at a time in a effort to get rid of our negatives, and build up positive aspects of our personalities or inner selves. I have looked at myself and saw weakness, cowardice, selfishness, and some ego issues mixed in. I have worked to fin things to do, new habits to establish etc. to overcome those issues, and I work on them every day. My main issue was money, so I go over the bank accounts with my wife every day, and that has helped me to not get into a mess and lie about it, and gives my wife some added security which I took away from her by lying. In summary, figure out who you are, then who you want to be and how to get there, then work on it every day with your wife. Good luck.
KBneedshelp
KBneedshelp
Gwilly...thanks for the advice....i really appreciate it. I know it will be a process and i am actually excited for how it will change my life for the better,
liar1970
liar1970
Gwilly has a lot of good advice. We all struggle and have developed lying as a safety net. We fall too often into destructive behavior. It is never a good idea to talk with those outside our marital relationship especially of the opposite sex as our spouse can view this as an emotional affair. I understand the need to feel valued and secure in our own relationships, I know too that those we have lied to often do not make us feel the most loved. The longer you are away from lying the more you practice telling the truth the more this area begins to change. I wish for you and for all of us a life full of truth and of love.