I have just joined this group after years of being dishonest. That includes lying, lying by omission, denial of my actions, drip-feeding information...the list goes on. Last April my husband started to confront me about things he already knew, and despite our having had a 21 year marriage and having three beautiful children, I carried on being dishonest with him - and myself - just because I couldn't tell the truth. After many ups and downs, we now seem to have reached a point where he cannot carry on with me. I have tried CBT but was mostly treated for anxiety and depression. I wasn't fully honest with the therapist so obviously that didn't help matters. He said he couldn't give me any more help and that felt like a rug being pulled out from under my feet.

I now realise I need to sort myself out on my own. That is really hard. There aren't any groups I can go to here, and there isn't any other therapy available without paying, which I can't afford to do as I ran up huge debts during my time of lying which my husband has been helping me to pay off.

I've dragged so many people down with my behaviour. My parents, my children, my husband, and myself. I haven't appreciated how hurt he has been - and is - because he doesn't always show it, but he told me when he found out about the last thing I hid from him, that it hurts every time he finds out about the smallest thing, because if I can lie and hide small things, I'm obviously not going to tell him about the big things.

I'm glad I can share this.