This is weird for me because I’ve never needed to turn to other channels before to look for help and support but I have an issue telling lies and I need support/advice stopping.

I’m as it stands getting married a week today to the most wonderful person, the kind of person you never knew was exactly everything you needed in life until you met them but over a month ago and then 2 nights ago I have put that in a huge question mark based on my actions.

There are plenty of examples in my past where when put in a potentially difficult situation before even my brain engages my natural instinct is to cover it with a lie. These can be for big things or little things. Let me tell you the main story about how I got here.

Most of the time they were pointless. The truth would have caused a few moments of angst but no more.

i managed to get myself in credit card debt, I missed payments and eventually maxed out my card. This was one the serious lies happened. I told my fiancé that everything was fine with the card and there was no issue. The first lie was not long after the first missed payment, I kind of told myself that I’d get it back on track. I never did. Because I’d told the one lie that things were fine I then couldn’t bring myself to admit that I had told the one lie so then the lies grew and grew from there. We also wanted to move house, I was extremely lucky to meet my partner when she owned her house, I never had so a Help to Buy ISA was available to me...I set one up, paid into it for the first month or two...and then couldn’t afford to do it anymore...but I didn’t tell her I couldn’t and lied and told her I was still doing it. This went on for months. To the point where she thought I had thousands in savings but in reality I was over a thousand in debt.

About a month ago this came out, it was because I was backed into a corner and had to spill the beans not because of any act of nobility from me.

we had a horrendous period, some of the worst in my life. She left the home for the first night, we slept in different rooms, it was horrible. It is still really raw for me (I know I’m not the victim) but we eventually made it through it and we were on the road to recovery, she decided to stay with me and forgive and things had been much better in the run up to the wedding.

2 nights ago I had a few beers with some friends and came home and mentioned in passing someone coming to the wedding who I had invited but completely forgotten to talk to my fiancé about. Instead of at the time just owning up to it by brain went straight back to cover it up, I came up with some nonsense about how I thought she was invited and mentioned it in passing. We had fallen out and we didn’t fix it. In the morning with my senses together I realised I had lied as well as handled the scenario badly. When she got back home from work I didn’t broach the situation straight away which I said I would. I also told her the truth of what happened but at that point it became apparent I had lied the previous night. All of the hard work done over the last month fixing the relationship was out the window immediately and we are back in that dark period a week before the wedding. I really want to stop lying but in certain circumstances it has almost become instinctual.

I would really love some advice and help. Thank you for listening to my story.