Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

1,668 Members

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ImperfectHuman 07/02/2020

Hi all. I feel I'm starting to understand how much of my life has been shaped and ruined by shame and my fear of it. I'm also starting to see that I dont have to be perfect or give the impresssion of it to feel valued and loved. I know I'm not alone in this, as I've seen the unmistakeable shadow of shame in so many of the posts I've read on here.

I guess I just want to share with you all that it's okay to be imperfect. We are after all only human and imperfection is part of who we are. Lies are mostly born out of fear. I'm learning that the only way to break the cycle is to take out the fear. I have to trust that the people around me will love me for who I am. If they can't or won't then they arent the right people to be around anyway. I need to feel like I belong in the spaces I inhabit rather than to try an fit in to them. Fitting in makes us inauthentic and that feeds the fear.

I hope this helps or at least makes some sense? Being on here, reading your all of your posts makes me feel capable of doing this. Even if no one repsonds this feels like a space I belong in, in which I can be myself without fear of judgement, so thank you.

sbrady07 08/04/2020

Thank you.

jaimoe0 08/05/2020

I'm glad things are looking up. Keep up the good work.

Ray5202 08/21/2020

Thank you very true and needed to hear that.

Ccarter125 08/21/2020

Im new to this group. Is there any online meetings for this.

Im losing my famiky, friends everything. I lie about the dumbest things. I can't take it anymore, im tired of having my life destroyed. Im tired of being ashamed....

I live in Georgia and trying to find a group or something to help me with this.

stang 08/26/2020

Thank you that makes feel like I can fight this and win

ImperfectHuman 09/02/2020

Hi C carter. I'm sorry I don't know the answer to your question. I'm in the UK so can only interact on here. It's the only platform I've been able to find anywhere. There aren't any UK based discussion groups (we Brits are clearly too uptight to want to talk about things!)

I have found posting and commenting on here to be really helpful though so its definitely worth persisting, even if you don't get an immediate response. Stay strong and try to find someone you can open up to and confide in. Best of luck in beating it.

Jtea 09/03/2020

Hi ImperfectHuman. Thank you for posting this. It's true that we don't have to be perfect people. We can't be. Even though I understand and know that, I find it so difficult sometimes to tell the truth when I know the truth will make me feel bad or worse, look bad in front of others. Being honest upfront is always best, because the truth tends to come out eventually regardless, but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm trying to remind myself that perfection is unattainable. People want to know who we really are. And who we are are flawed, imperfect people, and that's okay. Our loved ones aren't looking for anything else

ImperfectHuman 09/03/2020

Hi Jtea. Thanks for your reply. You're absolutely right it is really hard to break the cycle of lying. Especially when you feel protected by it. I know now that the feeling of protection lying gives is the biggest lie of all.
Lies will always come out eventually and when that happens it's a million times worse than anything the truth could do. I find it hard too do as well. Lying is habitual and so it often feels more comfortable than telling the truth. I'm learning to live with the discomfort and to be honest. It's the hardest thing I've ever done but it's also the most rewarding. Stay strong and have faith in yourself and those around you.

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