When racecar drivers get into an accident, they are trained to immediately take their hands off the steering wheel. This is to prevent the sudden jerking of the front tires from possibly breaking their wrists and causing them more injury than is probably already going to happen. I think life is the same way, at least for me anyway. I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm a control freak. And I can see it too. I am. I like to feel like things are under my control....like I can have some kind of effect on the outcome of any situation. But that's just not the case. When things go wrong, sometimes you can limit the damage and sometimes you can't. I need to learn to tell the difference between those situations....and know that lying is never a good way to limit damage. All lying does is compound the problem in the first place. The damage is already done...I'm just along for the ride. It's just a really shitty feeling knowing that my compulsions and lack of self control and lying caused the "accident" in the first place. One day at time. Each day is an opportunity to not lie to my wife and to love her as much as I can.