First off, welcome, like you, I'm very new here as well. I wish I had a magic answer to give you in regards on how to stop lying as so not to hurt people and yourself, and destroy relationships around you, I wish I had the answer to that, but I don't. The only thing that I can think of, is perhaps you have admitted your problem of lying soon enough and are now members of such support groups, like you are here, as to try and seek out as like minded people and get needed advise and possible treatment plans. Maybe your here soon enough and you'll work on yourself and get better before as you say it "ruins your life, your marriage, your family and everyone else around you"!

I hope that's the case, that you get better soon enough to start to change your ways, and that those around you see it in time, as to perhaps think....."wow, their changing, perhaps a little bit more time of sticking around is required, just to verify the change, and more important, to make sure any possible changes that you do by starting to work on yourself stick"! Take it from me, and know the I envy you a little, because your still in a position to start to work on yourself and change as to try to help yourself and save a marriage. Me, I've realized my twisted and deceptive and lying ways to late to save my relationship with a woman that I love so much. She's on her way out, choice made, arrangements made, airline ticket bought, so she's out the door due to my continued choice to keep lying my ass off to her about a great many things.

I hope you've caught this lying problem in time, and that you now have the chance to make things right by hard works and dedication to trying to stop. I wish I had all the magic answers, but I don't, I'm just a broken liar who is wondering what happens next. But I'll agree with you on something here and I quote "I been lying practically my whole life I can hardly recognize myself.", your not the only one my friend, I to have a real big problem knowing where the fine line between "reality" and "fantasy" is, I to can barely recognize myself. So take comfort that your not the only, I can't speak for everyone else here, but as far as me, we're in the same boat!

If you need someone to talk to down the road, if you ever need help, maybe just someone to listen, I'm here for you. Granted I'm in the same boat you are, don't know how therapeutic I can be, but I'm here never the less.

Thanks Aaron I appreciate the support I am sorry to hear what happened it is rough cause I'll have to regain her trust it won't be easy but I know I have to recover first before I can try to fix things between me and her. I was overwhelmed I really had no idea of such thing existed until my wife did her own research and made me realize what I have become. I well have to remind myself constantly of not lying and stay on top of it.

I'm sorry to rain on the parade, but I've learned the hard way, so, so, so, so, so many times that simply reminding yourself everyday to not lie and try to stay on top of it doesn't really work. Even with the best intentions that I've been able to dig up for myself, and trusting only myself to keep me on the straight line of truth never worked. As I've learned, trusting only upon myself is a recipe for disaster. We're both doing the right thing, we've come to places such as this on-line support group, we've admitted a problem, we've put it out there to the world, now we just have to trust that we'll get the help we need to fight off this devil inside us. Take it from me, keeping ourselves "honest", on our own power, on our own time, on our dime, is hopeless. For if we were able to control our addiction and stop lying on our own and have all the magic answers as to why we did it and how to ever keep it coming back, then we wouldn't need places such as this support group.

Reminding yourself not to lie is great, trying to make that happen is good, but remember that we can not solely do this on our own, we need help!

Here are the 12 Steps for LA: http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/liars-anonymous/discussions/messages/9426111

It is possible to overcome the demon on lying. Difficult but possible. When I first started working on it I found it hard to string together several days of no lying. The thought of going a whole month without lying seemed impossible for me. I had to start my counter over many times. Pretty soon I was working on stringing together several weeks of non-lying. I had to start over several times. Now I'm working on stringing together months of non-lying together. I've had to start over a few times.

Takes daily reminding myself about my tendency to lie and asking daily for strength from my higher power to control it. It does get easier though so take heart. Also if I do lie I correct it immediately. Life is better when lived truthfully.

Thank you everyone for the support I am also going to go ahead and post my story in how evil I have become aswell.