Hi: Scott thanks for joining and sharing a bit of your story. I am a liar as well. U have taken the first step to recovery by admitting u have a problem and reaching out for help. I lie for a few reasons. I too have spent money behind my families back on my sex addiction. I have a long period of sobriety from that addiction but I still will lie. I lie mainly because of fear and anxiety that I struggle with. Fear of conflict is a big problem in my relationship with my wife. I lie to avoid conflict. I also lie to make myself look better then I am, which covers some self esteem issues. I also lie to control outcomes, so I get people to think what I want them to think. I will lie if I don't feel safe when it comes to sharing how I truly feel about something. When I started thinking about a plan I first spent a lot of timing understanding the underlying issues why I lie and I ended up with the points above. Be gentle on yourself as recovery is bumpy and u have taken the 1st step.

great points about lying. you dawg. yes, and i lie because i don't think that there is a reason to tell the truth. if you d****d me over, than i will lie to you because you are a liar, and that is all you decerve.
you lies.
i lie to myself and i guess i think i get away with it. no one is going to find out. i am cash register honest, but i lie in personal relationships that i think i can get away with it and to my mom who is a world class liar and a whore, who thinks that she is so great, and we have a narcisstic personality disorder there, but she is such a liar, she blames the whole thing on me, and so i am not only a liar, but then i am also insaaaannnneee.
somebody once said that i lie because i don't think i'll ever get caught.
but i always got caught.
i one time cheated on somebody so bad, it was a sin, and he didn't forgive me. i consider that lying, that cheating, when i am in love with somebody else, and then i cheat, then i am a liar to myself.
he was NOT ok with it.
and he let me have it. i lied to him by cheating so that i could feel good about myself,
and he dumped me.
then i also lie about my feelings for a man.
sometimes, i am really there for him, and sweet but inside i am hating him like a lion hates a cage.
he is so stupid i am thinking.
but i care about him.
so, is that lying?
having mixed feelings about someone.
then this guy asked me to move in with him.
it was the way he did it.
and then this other guy who wanted to sheat with me, and i told him '"no".
he made me feel sick when he asked me, and i thought he was just using me to get his rocks off in front of his friends.
so i told him no.
even though i wanted to.
he turned me into 'the liar'.
and i will never let him forget it until the day i die.
so now i sit and lust on this website and lie to myself because i am so unhappy to always be so alone, and not have him in my life, or the other guy, and i am like, damn you men, you f***in liars, you make ME lie.
now IAM A LIAR you s*Nof BI*TCH.
just saying....
oh one last thing, our Lord, Jesus Christ. what did he say about liars?

i just wanna add that i wanted to marry him for life.

Thank you both for your comments. I am really struggling with this. My wife and I called it quits today and I have moved out. Her mom was a huge liar and it drove her nuts and makes her so angry. I appreciate the go gentle comment, but I have a hard time being gentle, and with little to no sleep and a ton of work responsibilities I have a hard time focusing. I really want to stay on the path and be honest with people. Even though my wife and I called it off I am still so in love with her. She has already began to go out and seek vengeance on me, and it really hurts.

marguerite, you lie about caring for this man and wonder if it is lying. The other option is it is protecting yourself. I think very few people can go around being honest about tings like that all the time. I think there is a point where being appropriate and biting your lip, or doing something to protect your feelings from getting hurt is natural. However for a compulsive liar like myself how do I differentiate between that and lying. Is like an alcoholic only having one drink and not getting drunk?

I guess the whole point is compulsive lying ruins lives just as much as drugs and alcohol does. I know that my life is all upside down and backwards. If I don't start getting my mind straight I will end up loosing my job. I have already lost my wife. Because of my actions my ex-wife is concerned about me and my children. It is amazing how quickly you can go from king of the mountain to a splatter of bird sh*t on a windshield needing to be washed off and forgotten.

you need to tell me more about what the lying does to you ......

I lie because I used to like it. Now, I lie for any reason you can think of. I'm sorry this has happened. If you want some way to check in with someone, you can go to the daily check in. If not, you can email me at amenarivers@gmail.com. We can hold each other accountable day by day. Tomorrow is day one for me.